


Love Novels

by milkcoffee (abucketfulloffeels)



Series: Love Novels - the adult shop AU [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: (Nico kinda), Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-07 09:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 25,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6798688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abucketfulloffeels/pseuds/milkcoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - Eli is a part time librarian who is studying law in the university. Nozomi is a retail assistant at an adult shop. When their paths cross, how will their relationship turn out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story is based off a conversation I had with a friend about a silly AU idea haha. Everything is still in development, but I hope you'll like the first chapter! Enjoy!

 It was time for her shift at her local library again. Ayase Eli set down her bag beside her seat, turned on her computer and removed her black rimmed glasses as per her usual routine. As she waited for the painfully slow computer to boot up, she pulled out an extremely thick law textbook from her bag and started reading. A graded quiz was coming up next week at school and she really needed to prepare for it, yet she could not shirk her responsibility as a part-time librarian. She cannot complain though - books were always her passion, and being able to take up a job where she could be nearby the things she loved was something she could not have asked more for.

 Just that majority of her job consisted of dealing with picky customers complaining about malfunctioning machines and getting chaotic children to keep quiet. And shelving books of course. But she did not mind that.

 So there Eli was, sitting at the counter with her heavy textbook propped on her lap, desperately praying that she would not be interrupted by another case of crying children again.

 Fortunately for her, today was not a problematic day and her shift at the counter was thankfully turning out to be an uneventful one. However, her law quiz cramming was still interrupted, albeit by a faint floral fragrance as someone entered the library.

 Eli looked up from her textbook, and a female figure caught her eye. Her purple hair was long and flowing, casually done up in two twintails. Her simple yet elegant sweater and miniskirt brought out her shapely figure, and there was this aura of serenity and mystery surrounding her, which caused Eli to be fixated on her. The girl seemed to sense Eli noticing her, and she turned around to glance at the counter. She had brilliant turquoise eyes that were oh so slightly slanted, giving her a gentle look, and she seemed to be around the same age as Eli.

 Eli came to a sudden realisation that she was staring and immediately looked downwards, and her face flushed at the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation.  _ Why was she staring? Shouldn’t she be focusing on acing that quiz instead of staring at girls? GIRLS? _

 But Eli had to admit, that purple haired girl was kind of cute. In between her studying, as she looked up to observe the situation in the library, she subconsciously searched out the purple haired girl, who was engrossed in poring over books, specifically at the fictional section. Even a simple act of flipping through the book was so elegant, and it caused Eli to hold her gaze a split second longer before looking down to her textbook again.

 The girl left after about 45 minutes, and Eli otherwise forgot about their awkward “first” encounter.

 Then a week later, she was back.

 Usually Eli paid no notice to regulars coming back to return and borrow more books, but this visitor was an exception. Somehow there was something about her that drew Eli to notice her, which prompted Eli to want to find out more about her. What was her name? Who were her favourite authors? What does she do - is she studying or working anywhere near here? These questions filled Eli’s mind week after week as the mysterious purple haired girl made her regular visits to the library, as Eli snuck occasional glances at her every time she visited.

 As this “routine” carried on for weeks, Eli contemplated if she should create an opportunity to say hi to her, or continue to observe her from the counter, conjuring up fictitious backstories about this girl in her mind. Alas, the opportunity presented itself when one of the regular librarians put her on last minute shelving duty on that particular day of the week.

 “Put these books from the fiction section back to where they were,” the creaky old lady pushed the trolley full of books towards her. As Eli took the trolley and sought out the correct section for the correct book, she found herself next to the purple haired, turquoise eyed girl that she was observing for weeks.

 Eli’s could feel her heart palpitating.  _ Now’s your chance, Eli. It’s now or never. Just do it. Strike up conversation with her like right now. _

 She cleared her throat. “Hey, so you like Sherlock Holmes as w-”

 “Hey, can I take a look at that book?” The purple haired girl spoke as she gestured to one of the books in the trolley. She had a cute voice with a distinctive Kansai accent.

 “A-ah, sure no problem, I was just about to put them back b-but I mean you can take them if you want-” Eli was caught off guard and stuttered, which was totally unlike her usual eloquent self.

 Purple haired girl chuckled. “Thanks. So you were saying, do I like Sherlock Holmes?”

 Eli twirled a tuft of stray hair sticking out from the back of her ponytail. “Um, yeah, like you have an armful of books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle with you.”

 “Yep, detective fiction is always exciting, especially the ones written by foreign authors. What about you? Do you like detective fiction as well?”

 “Mm yeah, I like about any genre really, from mystery to sci-fi to the classics. I’m not a fan of raunchy romance books though.”

 The girl smiled. “I see you’re a book enthusiast. Is that why you’re working as a librarian, Ayase Eli-san?”

 Eli jumped the moment she heard the girl address her by her name, before realising she was looking at her name tag. “U-uh...yeah! I work part-time here though. I’m studying law at university full time, I’m just earning some extra pocket money here. It’s a relatively relaxing job anyway.”

 “Oh I see, that’s nice.” The purple haired girl nodded. Awkward silence between them ensued for a moment, before the girl turned around to walk off.

 “Hey,” Eli suddenly piped up, which caused her to turn around. “...may I know your name?”

 “Ah of course,” she grinned. “I’m Nozomi, nice to meet you.”

_ Nozomi. A pleasant name for a pleasant looking girl like her. _

 “Nice to meet you.” Eli grasped her hand in a firm but friendly handshake.  

 “If there is nothing else, I’ll have to check out these books and make a move soon, if not I’ll be late for work.” Nozomi straightened and turned towards the checkout station.

 “Oh, what are you working as by the way?”

 “Well...I’m working in retail.” Nozomi winked and headed towards the machine, her long twin tails swishing behind her.

* * *

 

 Nozomi hopped onto the train and headed towards Shinjuku, where her place of work was. At the fringe of Kabukicho, she got off and went across a pedestrian crossing towards a cluster of shops. Right at the end of the alley was a shop with a shocking pink sign, “LOVE GURU”. Nozomi entered that shop.

 “I’m here.” As Nozomi peered over the counter, she saw her co-worker Nico doing a stock take on the latest batch of lube that was recently brought into the shop.

 “Ah, you’re late.” Her petite co-worker looked up for a moment before continuing her work.

 “Well, it was just for a while.” Nozomi went to the back of the counter and put down her bag full of library books. “By the way, I finally spoke to that librarian I was telling you about.”

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah, she’s a law student working part time there actually.”

 “Nice,” Nico replied as she tapped her notepad with her pencil. “Now hurry up and help me check these stocks, we should finish them before the customers come in.”


	2. Chapter 2

 Ever since the first time they started talking, Eli and Nozomi continued to chat with each other every time they met at the library, mostly about books or happenings around town. Sometimes Nozomi would stop over at the counter where Eli was seated, and on other times Eli would approach Nozomi while she was shelving books.

 “You sure have a lot of time to read, given how you come to the library at least once a week,” Eli commented one day while tiptoeing to put a book on an upper shelf.

 Nozomi shrugged. “The shop can be rather quiet at times, so I can finish reading books during the lull periods pretty fast. Besides, the library’s en route from my school to my workplace, so I might as well drop by to pass time and flip through some books, even if I have no intention in borrowing them.”

 “School?” Eli asked. This was the first time Nozomi mentioned that she was studying.

 “Ah yes, I’m doing a business course part time at a private institute, although I’m still working full time.”

 “I see,” Eli nodded. “It must be quite flexible and not as intense, unlike law school for me. Just look at my eyebags from the all-nighters I pulled!”

 Nozomi chuckled.

* * *

 

 A major exam was coming up for Eli, and as she always did, she decided to pay a visit to the nearby temple for good luck. She did not actually need it, being the well-prepared student she always was, but it gave her some assurance that the gods were on her side.

 As she trudged up the staircase to the temple, she saw the back of a purple haired shrine maiden. And that shrine maiden looked strangely familiar.

 “N...Nozomi-san?”

 The shrine maiden turned around. “Ah, Eli-san! Didn’t expect to see you here!”

 “Well, I didn’t expect to see  _ you _ here, especially in this outfit! So you work at this shrine as well?”

 “I only help out here during weekends or my off-days just out of interest. What brings you here by the way?”

 Eli tightened her grip around her bag strap. “I have a huge exam coming up in a few days time, so I’m here to pray for good luck.”

 “Oh, that’s quite a common reason among visitors our age.” Nozomi smiled and set her broomstick aside. “Why not I follow you to offer your prayers? I have time to spare anyway.”

 After the two girls finished their prayers, they set off to the nearby vending machine to get a drink. Nozomi got a canned green tea while Eli settled for a hot chocolate.

 “Don’t you love the atmosphere at the shrine? You can really feel the spiritual power here, and it really refreshes me after a tiring week at work.” Nozomi quipped as she took a sip of tea.

 Eli was not a very spiritual person herself, but she still nodded. “So you’re into all things spiritual as well, Nozomi-san?”

 “You could say say so. A lot of my decisions and thoughts are guided by the spirits, and I enjoy tarot card reading as well.” Nozomi paused for a moment. “...you don’t find me weird, do you, Eli-san?”

 Eli shook her head after taking a swig of hot chocolate. “No, not really. It’s interesting to meet such a person like you, I never really had a friend into tarot cards.”  _ Well, you do not have a lot of friends to begin with, Eli thought to herself. _

 Conversation between them ceased for a while as they finished up their hot drinks.

 “Hey,” Eli broke the silence.

 “Mm hmm?”

 “There’s a play coming up next Saturday evening - ‘Mousetrap’ by Agatha Christie, do you fancy coming to watch it...with me?”

 Eli kicked her feet together nervously as Nozomi thought for a moment. “Um...yeah! I’ll be free, let’s go watch it together!”

 Eli broke into a grin. “That’s great! I’ll go order two tickets as soon as I get home!”

 This was the first time Eli would be going on a date with her newfound friend - one that she could click with so well and felt comfortable being around with. Such prospects made her insides bubble with excitement as she looked forward for that day to come.

* * *

 

 It was Saturday evening, and Eli was waiting for Nozomi outside the theatre. She decided to let her hair down instead of doing it up in a ponytail, and was clad in skinny jeans and a crop top.

 “Eli-san! Sorry to keep you waiting!” Nozomi appeared soon after, wearing a simple one piece.

 “It’s alright, I just got here not too long ago. Come, let’s go get our seats!”

 The play was absolutely riveting and the girls enjoyed themselves completely. When the play ended, the both of them hung around the theatre for a while and chatted.

 “It’s great how they stage foreign plays over here every now and then. Although local plays are great, it is nice to see plays of non-Japanese origin being performed here.” Nozomi commented as they strolled out of the theatre.

 “Yep,” Eli replied. “When I saw the advertisement for this in the papers and on the web, I knew I had to go watch it!”

 “Thanks for inviting me to watch the play with you,” Nozomi’s turquoise eyes beamed as she smiled.

 “Ah, well...since you also like detective fiction, I thought that you would be the perfect companion,” Eli ruffled her blonde hair.

 The both of them continued walking until they reached the train station, then Eli piped up, “Hey, Nozomi-san, I’m just curious - what kind of retail do you do? You never actually told me specifically before.”

 Nozomi stopped in her tracks suddenly. “Well...ah...it’s a bit complicated to explain, I’ll tell you another day since we have to go separate ways from here.”

 “Oh...okay. Yeah I guess,” Eli nodded. “I’ll have to take the bus while you’re taking the train, so we’ll just part from here.”

 Nozomi waved. “Goodnight, Eli. Have a safe trip home!”

 “Goodnight...Nozomi.”

 The two girls parted, with Nozomi taking a train to her apartment while Eli went back to the university dorm.

_ Eli. Not Eli-san, but Eli.  _ This was the first time Nozomi dropped the honorific when addressing Eli, a sign of their deepening friendship. This made Eli feel warm and fuzzy inside - seldom did Eli make such close friends, and she was glad that she was able to befriend this slightly mysterious but otherwise pleasant girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is out! It's more of a filler chapter if anything. I'll try to publish new chapters bi-weekly, or every week at the least.

 Eli entered her dormitory room and saw that the lights were on - an indication that her roommate, Umi, was back before her.

 “Oh, Eli, you’re finally back. It’s rare for you to come back this late.” Umi looked up from her desk. Umi was a liberal arts student a year younger than Eli and had been rooming with her for the past year or so.

 “I was out with a friend,” Eli replied as she set aside her shoes and bag.

 “A friend?” Umi sounded surprised. “You seldom go out with your friends.” Unlike Eli, who often stayed in the dorm if she was not having lessons or working at the library, Umi was frequently busy with archery practice and helping at her family’s dojo, or hanging out with her close friends, Honoka and Kotori.

 Eli laughed. “She was someone I’ve been meeting frequently at the library. We both share the same interest in foreign books, so I decided to go watch ‘Mousetrap’ with her.”

 “That’s nice,” Umi responded while turning off her study lamp. “It’s getting late, I’m going to bed now, goodnight.”

* * *

 

 It was Monday afternoon and business was slow at “LOVE GURU”, as it usually was at that hour.

 “So how has work been lately?” Nozomi asked Nico casually as she rearranged the sexy costumes on the shelves.

 “Hasn’t changed much really,” Nico drawled as she absent-mindedly flicked a box of condoms across the counter. “Most of the customers mind their own business if they don’t need assistance, but there are always those that make comments about how young I look and to ‘go back to high school’ and that sort of stuff. Sheesh! I’m an adult already!”

 Nozomi chuckled as she looked at her twin-tailed, flat-chested, girlish looking colleague. Although Nico was the same age as her, she did look much younger than her age, which occasionally raises some eyebrows at the adult shop.

 Just then, Nozomi found a packet of mint-flavoured condoms at her feet.

 “Oops,” Nico blurted.

 “Sheesh, Nicocchi, stop playing with the store’s items. The customers are going to buy these.” Nozomi sighed as she bent down and picked up the packet Nico was flicking around just now.

* * *

 

 Umi and Eli were at the convenience store nearby the university getting items to bring back to the dormitory.

 “Eli, stop getting too much chocolate. You may get a sore throat from eating too much,” Umi slapped Eli’s hand gently as she reached for a third bar. Although Umi was the younger of the two, she had a maturity beyond her years and occasionally was a mother-like figure to Eli - a home away from home.

 “Okay, if you say so.” Eli put back the chocolate and headed to the back of the store to get some milk while Umi continued to look for bread.

 As Eli headed towards the fridge, she passed by a rack of magazines. She casually looked at the covers of celebrity gossip magazines, children’s magazines and lifestyle magazines, and immediately averted her eyes when she walked past the gravure magazines. Eli never understood the appeal of gravure models and was in fact slightly displeased at the fact that convenience stores sold such magazines openly. Blown up images of these model clad in just lingerie were displayed for all to see, and many of them were around Eli’s age or younger. Why does society have to glorify the sexualisation of teenage girls and young women? 

 After she completed her subconscious internal rant about that issue, Eli grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge. Just then, her phone buzzed. Nozomi had sent her a text message.  

**_“Are you free to grab parfaits tomorrow?”_ ** The message read.

**_“Yes, how about before my library shift?”_ ** Eli replied with one hand as she carried the carton to the counter where Umi was waiting.

* * *

 

 “Hey Nozomi, mind if I ask you something?” Eli asked as she and Nozomi were digging into their parfaits at a chic cafe downtown.

 “Mm hmm?”

 “What’s a dildo?”

 Nozomi almost spat her mouthful of parfait out.

 “D-don’t laugh, I saw this is one of the case files in class and didn’t know what it was,” Eli reddened as she dug her spoon deep into the ice-cream.

 “What makes you think I know what it is?” Nozomi struggled to suppress her laughter.

 “I don’t know...I just suddenly thought about it and…”

 “Seriously though,” Nozomi replied, “You don’t know what a...um...dildo is?”

 “Do you think I’m kidding you?”

 Nozomi grinned slightly. “Well fine, I’ll tell you what it is. It is a phallic shaped sex toy, okay? End of conversation, next topic please.”

 Eli turned into a darker shade of crimson. “It’s a...what? How did you know, Nozomi?”

 “...isn’t it common knowledge? At least for people our age?” Nozomi averted her gaze from Eli.

 “Apparently it isn’t for me…”

 “You were an honour student back in high school and the student council president to boot, and a top-performing law student in university right now, and with all your smarts and knowledge you have, you don’t know what a dildo is?”

 “I grew up in a conservative family, and I myself never actually chanced upon this term before…” Eli was starting to look very uncomfortable.

 Nozomi decided to let this topic rest. “I’m just teasing, Eli, you don’t need to take it personally. Anyway, this parfait is really good, you should try it next time…”

_ “Oh man,”  _ Nozomi thought to herself,  _ “Bitch doesn’t even know what a dildo is, when will I ever be able to tell that I am an adult shop employee?”  _

* * *

 

 It was the end of another day of work, and Nozomi headed back to her apartment, where she lived on her own. In fact, she had been living there by herself for years, ever since high school when she made the decision to stay put in one place instead of following her parents as they moved around for work.

 Nozomi kicked off her shoes and slipped on her indoor slippers. Just as she was about to put down her bag, her phone buzzed. She looked at the caller ID.

 Her mother was calling. She had not heard from them for two months.

 “Hello...mum?”

 “Yes, I’m good.”

 “Everything is fine.”

 “Yes, still studying my business course.”

 “Mm hmm, still working as well.”

 “...It’s  **not** a seedy place, mum!”

 “I-it’s a decent job okay, I’m doing fine. I-”

 “No, I’m not intending to quit-”

 “Okay...okay...I see, okay...bye.”

 Nozomi sighed loudly as she cast her phone on the dining table. Ever since the end of high school, her parents almost did not seem to care. What used to be calls on alternate days became weekly calls, followed by fortnightly calls, and eventually she could count herself lucky if she ever heard from them every month. And every time they called, at least for the past two years, it would end up with them making some snide remark about her profession or some endless nagging about “better preparing for her future”. They weren’t the most pleasant conversations at times, and frankly, Nozomi preferred not hearing from them.

After a while, Nozomi went back to the dining table to pick her phone up. As she did so, she chanced upon a short write-up in the newspapers on the table.

 “Annual special light up at Otonokizaka Park? Hmm, sounds like fun, maybe I’ll ask Eli if she’s interested.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more WIP updates, you can follow me on tumblr under this tag (http://a-bucket-full-of-feels.tumblr.com/tagged/nozoeli-trash-fic).


	4. Chapter 4

 Eli reached for her canned mocha to take another gulp, and sighed when she realised it was empty. She absent-mindedly threw the can towards the wastepaper basket, but her poor aiming skills and fatigue at 2 am resulted in the can entirely missing the basket, and it bounced and rolled on the floor instead. Eli sighed again, glanced over her shoulder to see that Umi was not awakened by the rattle, and turned back to her laptop. She typed a few more sentences in the word document, then decided that she should continue on her paper the next day. After saving her work and closing the document, she went back to check her email once more. There was one new email - a message sent by her younger sister, Alisa, 3 hours ago.

 Eli smiled as she opened the email. It was a simple message asking if she was well, punctuated with cute emojis and smiley faces. Alisa also briefly talked about her life in high school and the situation at home, which was heartening for Eli to hear.

 Eli was about to hit the “reply” button, then she realised it was 2.13 am and Alisa will be concerned if she saw the timestamp, so Eli decided to hold off the reply till the next day.

* * *

  “Were you staying up late again last night? You look exhausted.” Nozomi leaned against the library counter as she conversed with Eli.

 Eli suppressed a yawn while she scanned a book. “Yeah, I have a paper due next week, and it’s been worrying me quite a bit.”

 “Don’t push yourself too hard,” Nozomi’s replied. “So long as you have put in sufficient effort, it is fine. You don’t need to be the top all the time.”

 Eli bit her lip. “Well yeah...I guess.”

 Nozomi straightened. “Hey, Eli, there’s a special light show at Otonokizaka Park this Friday night, want to go with me?”

 “This Friday? But I have to work on my paper…”

 “C’mon, what did I just say about overworking yourself? Besides, this only happens once a year, you definitely can’t miss it!”

 It was difficult for Eli to put up a fight with Nozomi’s soothing voice. “Okay, if you say so. I’ll come with you.”

 Nozomi winked. “So 9 pm Otonokizaka Park it is!”

* * *

  “No sir, we can’t give you a refund for this,” Nozomi explained to a customer for the fourth time.

 “But the last time I borrowed DVDs from your shop, I managed to get one!” The stocky guy grunted.

 Nozomi’s patience was wearing thin. “Sir, the DVDs are different. All other items in our shop like sex toys and costumes are non-refundable.”

 As the angry man rambled on, Nozomi glanced at the clock above the counter. It was 7.57 pm. The shop was supposed to close at 8, but this customer had been going on for 15 minutes and had no intention on stopping. Why do difficult customers always have to appear right before they closed, especially on the very day Nozomi had arranged to go out with Eli?

 Nico appeared behind Nozomi and put her hand on her shoulder. “Let me take over,” Nico whispered, “I should be able to do this.”

 Nozomi stepped back as she watched Nico do her ‘Nico-nico-nii customer appeasement routine’, which in actual fact had an abysmally low success rate. Nozomi looked at the clock again. If the shop were to close at 8, she and Nico would be able to finish packing up by 8.20 pm at the latest. Then she could walk and take the train to Otonokizaka Park station in 40 minutes. They would meet at 9 and slowly stroll to the park, just in time for the light up at 9.30 pm. But as of now, it was 8.04 pm, and she did not know how long Nico would last before she gave up.

 “Okay, just give me a moment nico~” she heard Nico say. Immediately after, Nico turned around towards her with the most ghastly look on her face. “Hurry up and get the boss here **_now_ **.”

 Nozomi shuffled into the room behind the counter and called their boss, who was hunched over a bulky computer looking at spreadsheets. With a sigh, he trudged out to the shop and took over Nico, who looked ready to kill someone any moment.

 Within 5 minutes, the fiasco was settled and the boss waved the disgruntled customer goodbye. “Customers like this do appear once in a while, usually they think that young female shop assistants like you both can be trifled with, but once they see a middle-aged man like me, they just shut up and take whatever we give them,” the boss turned to both girls and repeated his usual statement after dealing with a difficult customer. He then headed back to the room and left Nozomi and Nico to clean up the shop before closing.

 “Dangit, I’m going to be late,” Nozomi sighed as she swept the floor hurriedly.

 “Going out with the pure-minded librarian again?” Nico asked while rearranging the shelves.

 Nozomi giggled.

 “Hey Nico.”

 “Huh?”

 “Mind if you help me finish up the rest? I really have to go soon,” Nozomi handed her the broom and dustpan, and went to the back of the counter to grab her bag.

 “Wh-what-”

 “I’ll return you the favour the next time round!” Nozomi slung her bag over her shoulders and dashed out of the shop. It was 8.35 pm. She prayed that the train would not be delayed and she and Eli would still be able to catch the light up at 9.30.

* * *

  Eli stood next to the ticketing booth at Otonokizaka Park station where she was supposed to meet Nozomi and checked her watch. It was 9.01 pm. She took out her phone from her bag, and saw a message sent by Nozomi at 8.50 pm.

  **_“Hi Eli, sorry I will be around 10 to 15 min late, we were held up by an angry customer.”_ **

  _“Oh well, guess I’ll have to wait a while longer.”_ Eli pulled out her earphones and continued listening to some Tchaikovsky - she seemed to be the odd one out for liking romantic era music, but she enjoyed it as it reminded her of the days she used to do ballet. Her ballet stint did not exactly end on a happy note with her quitting because she was failing auditions repeatedly, but it was still an enjoyable part of her childhood back in Russia.

 Just then, a set of familiar purple twintails caught her eye. “Sorry I’m late Eli!” Nozomi called out as she exited the gantry from the train station.

 “No worries,” Eli removed her earphones. “It’s 9.13 pm, we still have 17 minutes till the light up!”

 With brisk steps, the girls made their way out of the train station and headed towards the park. The further they went, the more people they encountered and it became increasingly difficult to quicken their pace as they waded through the crowd.

 “This seems like a very hyped up occasion,” Eli commented.

 “Yeah, it’s getting more and more crowded now. Grab my hand, Eli. I don’t want us to get separated.” Nozomi stuck out her hand.

  _“H-hold her hand?”_ The notion of this made Eli blush, which was utterly stupid, she thought. _“Geez Eli, there’s no big deal about this, what’s wrong with you?”_

 Eli reached out and grabbed her hand, and together, they weaved in and out of the sea of people.

* * *

  Finally, Nozomi and Eli reached the special light up area in Otonokizaka Park. But alas, the moment they managed to catch a clear glimpse of the lights, the light show had reached its finale and all the lights soon fizzled out.

 “What a shame, I thought we could have made it just on time.” Nozomi looked downcast.

 “It’s alright,” Eli lightly placed a hand on Nozomi, “At least we managed to catch a bit of it. Besides, we still can walk around the park.”

 So that was what the both of them did. Although it was nightfall, of the street lights illuminated the park area. Eli and Nozomi walked alongside each other, shoulder to shoulder, engaged in a casual conversation. With Nozomi, Eli felt that words just flowed naturally, and they could never run out of things to talk about. Such activities were so trivial, yet she felt so at ease and could continue doing this forever.

 “Did you notice most of the people attending the light up are couples?” Eli piped up.

 Nozomi chuckled. “Yeah, this event was meant to tie up with Valentine’s Day, so it’s targeted at couples. Well, it doesn’t mean that friends should be excluded from this!”

 Eli smiled and glanced at Nozomi. The purple haired girl was looking casually in the distance, and her turquoise eyes glimmered under the soft glow of the street lamps. To her, Nozomi was charming in every sense, and moments like this made her feel that her chance encounter with her in the library was the luckiest moment in her life.


	5. Chapter 5

 “I’ll be leaving now, goodbye Eli!” Umi gathered her suitcase and headed towards the room door. She was going for a 2 week exchange programme with another university overseas.

 “Have a safe trip!” Eli looked up from her book and waved her goodbye. She was going to miss having company for two weeks. Although Umi was not exactly a noisy or talkative roommate, Eli enjoyed having her around in case she needed someone to talk to or share some food with.

* * *

  “Why are you at work today? Aren’t you usually off on Thursdays?” Nozomi asked Eli while she was busy shelving books in the library one Thursday night.

 “One of the full-time librarians went on urgent sick leave, and since I happened to be free today, they called me back to fill her in.” Eli pulled another book off the trolley and searched for its rightful place. “And you too - I just casually texted you saying I was working now and you actually came down?” _Yeah right, Eli. You really just wanted to meet Nozomi - I hope she doesn’t think too much about this._

 Nozomi shrugged. “My class just ended and the library is on the way home anyway, so might as well make a stop here.” _Try to sound casual, Nozomi. You don’t want to give Eli the impression that you were eager to see her or something._

 “Ah,” Eli replied. “You stay nearby here?”

 “Yep, just two train stations away.”

 Eli shelved her final book, then looked at her watch. “It’s almost time to close. Fancy dropping by my place for a while?” Immediately after saying that, Eli wanted to take back her words. Wouldn’t going to her place be imposing on Nozomi, who is probably tired from a day at work and school? Besides, her place wasn’t in the most glamorous state right now - since Umi left, she felt no pressure to keep the place clean, with used plates and cans strewn everywhere while her bed and desk was unkempt.

 Nozomi chuckled. “Really, I can? Why not?”

* * *

 Eli walked Nozomi into the university campus with her, into the dormitory building she stayed in.

 “Why the sudden invite, Eli? Wouldn’t you be imposing your roommate?” Nozomi asked.

 “She’s on overseas exchange right now, which is why I thought it would be cool if you could come over,” Eli responded. “I have some drinks and snacks back there which we can finish.”

 The both of them made their way up to the floor Eli stayed on. While walking along the corridor, they bumped into Maki, Rin and Hanayo, three freshmen who lived in the room next to Eli and Umi. They seemed to be coming back from the supermarket, judging from the items they were holding in their hands - Rin with cup ramen, Maki with tomatoes and Hanayo with...rice.

 “Hi Eli-san! Back from work?” Hanayo greeted Eli while hugging the bag of rice in her arms. Who in the right mind would cook rice in their room? Well, apparently Hanayo did.

 “Yep. You all went shopping?” Eli gestured towards the items they were holding.

 “Mm hmm! This will be our supper for the week!” Rin replied enthusiastically. Cup ramen was a common university student snack, but apparently it was perfectly normal to eat tomatoes and white rice for supper as well.

 Eli nodded, then realised she had yet to introduced Nozomi to them. “Oh yeah, by the way, this is Nozomi, a friend. She’s dropping by for a while.”

 The girls exchanged greetings and went back to their own rooms shortly after.

 “Those freshmen are cute, they seem like a nice bunch,” Nozomi said as Eli opened the room door.

 “Yeah, although they can be noisy at times, especially Rin,” Eli giggled. “Here, come in.”

 Needless to say, the sight of Eli’s room was not the most flattering. She had not bothered to make her bed ever since Umi left, her desk was cluttered with notes and textbooks, and empty coffee and energy drink cans were scattered across the floor. Back at home or if Umi was actually around, usually Eli would keep her room relatively tidy. However, staying alone for a week removed the pressure for her to maintain an orderly state in her abode.

 “Sorry...it’s kind of messy,” Eli looked at Nozomi apologetically. “I’ll clean it up quickly, just give me a sec.”

 “It’s alright, I can help you out a bit!” Nozomi smiled.

 Eli hurriedly made her bed and Nozomi picked up the cans from the floor.

 “You sure drink a lot of canned coffee,” Nozomi quipped.

 “Yeah, since Umi doesn’t drink coffee and I can’t be bothered to prepare ground coffee for myself, canned coffee is the best option.”

 “Have you tried soluble coffee or instant coffee? You don’t need to filter the coffee for these types, and it’s usually stronger and less sugary than the canned versions. If not, tea is another good source of caffeine.”

 “Oh,” Eli looked up from her desk in which she was currently tidying. “I don’t drink much tea and I never really looked out for such types of coffee before. We usually drink filtered coffee at home you see.”

 “Ah,” Nozomi peered inside the wastepaper basket as she disposed all the used cans. “I see you snack on a lot of packaged food and chips.”

 Eli shrugged. “Well, you can’t expect me to cook up a storm in my room, and I can’t afford the time just to prepare a simple midnight snack.”

 “You can’t be eating all these all the time,” Nozomi shook her head slightly. “I can give you some suggestions on simple snacks to prepare that are more nutritious.”

* * *

 Eli and Nozomi were soon done with tidying up the room, and they sat at the foot of Eli’s bed, sipping on yoghurt drinks and sharing a half-eaten packet of cookies.

 “You sure know a lot of tips and tricks for staying by yourself, Nozomi,” Eli commented.

 “I’ve been staying by myself for the past few years, that’s why,” Nozomi replied.

 “Really?” This surprised Eli - Nozomi seldom talked about her personal life, so she never found out until now.

 “Yep, when I was a kid, I used to move around a lot due to my parents’ work, which meant I could never settle down and make friends. So when I entered high school, I decided to rent an apartment and stay on my own, and that’s where I have been since then.”

 Eli was impressed. All her life, she never left the warmth and protection of her family, being pampered by her grandmother back in Russia, and stayed with her parents and younger sister in Japan all the way until university. And then there was Nozomi, who decided to live on her own at the tender age of 16.

 “What’s with the serious face?” Nozomi laughed. “I’m perfectly fine with staying on my own - I had the chance of forming close friendships in school and at work, and of course, meeting you too.”

 Eli’s heart fluttered and she smiled. It was heartening to know that Nozomi felt the same way about their friendship as well.

 “Gosh, there are cookie crumbs on your face. You’re like a child sometimes, _Elicchi_ ,” Nozomi reached out her hand to brush the crumbs off.

 Eli immediately raised her hand and gently nudged Nozomi’s hand away. “I can do it myself, you don’t have to-”

 Just as their hands touched, Nozomi and Eli’s eyes met. Eli felt a surge of emotions inside her like never before, which made her want to do somersaults in the clouds and draw flowers and wind.

 “Um, are you okay with me calling you ‘Elicchi’? Are you uncomfortable with it or something?” Nozomi’s face turned crimson and she averted her gaze.

 “N...no, it’s fine...Nozomi.”

 In a humble university dorm room in the heart of the Tokyo metropolis, two girls of vastly different backgrounds found their hearts connected as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write sappy scenes gah


	6. Chapter 6

 Thoughts about her changing feelings for Nozomi plagued Eli every now and then. Eli loved Nozomi as a friend, but there was something about being around her that made Eli’s heart skip a beat. The way Nozomi’s eyes slanted oh so slightly when she smiled, the floral perfume she wore that was lightly fragrant but not intoxicating, her gentle Kansai lilt whenever she talked - everything about her was so charming and special. But Eli could not afford to preoccupy herself with those feelings too much, for she soon began a 3-month internship with a law firm.

 Interning at the law firm meant that Eli could not work at the library as often as she usually did, and had to reschedule her shifts to fit her working hours. This meant that she seldom met Nozomi in the library. However, they still maintained close contact and met up occasionally for meals and drinks.

* * *

 “So up till now, you still haven’t told that librarian-law student girl that you’re working in an adult shop?” Nico asked Nozomi while idling at the counter.

 Nozomi shrugged. “From my conversations with Elicchi, she seems to have a very conservative view on sex and is quite uninformed in some aspects.”

 “How so?”

 “Some time ago, she asked me what a dildo was.”

 Nico burst out in laughter. “How does she not know what a dildo is? Practically everyone back in high school knew what it was!”

“She was a model student and student council president back in her high school, and had extremely high moral values to boot, so I bet she never exposed herself to such ‘dirty topics’ or engaged in such conversations with her schoolmates back then,” Nozomi reasoned out. “So now that you know her background, can you understand why it’s so difficult for me to tell her about my job?”

 Nico shook her head and stifled a giggle. “As difficult as it seems, she has to know sooner or later.”

 Nozomi sighed. “I’ll just follow what my cards tell me and tell her when the time is right. Now stop lazing around, Nicocchi, there’s a customer coming inside!”

* * *

 That night, when Nozomi got home, she turned on her music player and got out her pack of tarot cards. Soft music played in the background as she shuffled the well-worn cards. She had more than one deck, being a tarot enthusiast herself, but this deck was her favourite. Despite the cards’ edges being worn off and the fact that some of the cards were bent - she believed that the spiritual energy was strongest in this deck. This was the deck she brought to school when curious classmates wanted a reading, as well as the deck she used for her own readings for more important situations.

 And right now, she valued the revelation of her profession to Eli as something of great importance - it could make or break the future of their friendship, and the last thing Nozomi wanted was for their relationship to sour.

 After she laid out the cards and analysed what was shown on the deck, she got her answer. Nozomi never doubted what the cards told her. 

 The cards never lie.

* * *

 It was the weekend, and Eli finally got the chance to meet Nozomi for some shopping and to grab a parfait.

 “So how’s your internship going?” Nozomi asked while they started to tuck in to their parfaits.

 “I’m working at a law firm that specialises in criminal law; I’ve been shadowing my superior and looking at real life cases quite a lot,” Eli replied.

 Nozomi straightened up in interest. “Really? So what are they like?”

 Eli continued, “It was a real eye-opener as I got to see the case from different perspectives - not just the plaintiff, but the defendant as well. I used to have the idea that those accused of crimes were absolutely ill-intentioned, but taking a deeper look into the case, they are not as outrightly immoral as I perceived them to be. There were so many other sides to the story and they seemed much more...human.”

 “Mm hmm,” Nozomi nodded as she licked her spoon.

 “Somehow, this reminds me of that famous quote in ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ -  _ ‘You never really understand a person...until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.’ _ ”

 Nozomi remained silent for a moment, taking in what Eli had said, then something clicked in her head.

 The both of them focused on finishing their parfaits, and just when their spoons started scraping the bottom of their bowls, Nozomi looked up.

 “Elicchi, I think it’s time I let you know something important.”

 “Yeah?”

 “It’s about the nature of my retail job.”

 “What is it about?”

 Nozomi’s face turned dead serious. “So have you heard about Kabukicho?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 is out! Hope you'll enjoy this, I enjoyed writing this chapter (you'll see what I mean once you read it ;))  
> Thanks for all the comments so far, I really appreciate it! C:

 What ensued after Nozomi’s question was an offer to bring Eli to her workplace to show her around before work (“our boss is pretty chill and Nicocchi knows about you anyway”). Eli accepted her offer. So on the very next day, both girls were on the train bound for Nozomi’s workplace. Although they were sitting next to each other, few words were exchanged during the entire journey.

 Eli stared out of the window, wringing her hands. She had never set foot in Kabukicho before, but she knew that it was the red light district in Tokyo, and working in the red light district meant bad news.

_ “She’s definitely not doing  _ that _ sort of thing,” _ Eli reassured herself for the upteempth time.  _ “Don’t think too much into it, Eli. She may just be working in a restaurant or convenience store. Yes, there are restaurants and convenience stores in Kabukicho...right? Those are considered retail jobs right?” _

 Nozomi glanced at Eli and sensed her worry, starting to doubt her decision to follow what the cards told her. But deep inside, she still believed that it was the right path for her to follow.

 Soon after, Nozomi and Eli reached their train station and hopped off the train. Nozomi led the way to the adult shop, bringing Eli across pedestrian crossings and through side roads, while Eli observed her surroundings nervously. It  _ did  _ seem like a regular entertainment district with shops and eateries, albeit with some seedy looking shops which Eli desperately hoped Nozomi was not working in.

 “Here we are,” Nozomi stopped in her tracks. Eli found herself in front of LOVE GURU. The huge shocking pink sign caused her to reel slightly. The moment Eli saw the shop name, her heart started racing - Nozomi was indeed working in one of those seedy shops. At the same time, she also noticed a petite, twintailed female crouching in front of the shop, unlocking the shutters.

 “Hey Nicocchi,” Nozomi called out, and Nico looked up. “Let me introduce you to my friend. This is Eli, the law student working part time at the local library. Elicchi, this is Nico, my colleague.”

 “Nice to meet you,” Nico got up and bowed slightly at Eli. Then she gently slapped Nozomi and said, “So you finally got to telling her about your job?”

 “Yeah,” Nozomi replied, “I thought I could show her around for a while before we start since she has a bit of free time right now.”

 Nozomi ushered a very distressed Eli into the shop. Eli’s eyes flitted around - at first glance, it seemed like any regular shop, but upon closer scrutiny of the products on the shelves, everything there confused Eli and she could not help but to do a double take, even though her inner voice told her not to.

 “Feel free to ask me if you have any questions,” Nozomi walked alongside her while Nico scuttled to the back of the shop to get things running.

 Eli first headed to the costumes section. She was astonished at how skimpy all the costumes were, and at the variety of the costume genres. There was a sexy schoolgirl costume _ (gross, isn’t this fetishing minors?) _ , a sexy firefighter costume  _ (the model will definitely get burnt in a real fire) _ , a sexy nun costume  _ (isn’t that sacrilegious?) _ \- you name it, they had it. And of course, there was a wide range of whips and leashes which concerned Eli a lot.

 “Why would people in the right mind wear these costumes outside? Look at the models, they’re showing so much skin,” Eli gestured towards the costumes while asking Nozomi.

 Nozomi giggled awkwardly. “These costumes are meant to be worn  _ indoors _ , you know, when couples wish to spice up their ‘bedroom experience’.”

 Eli could not imagine how wearing costumes that barely covered anything could contribute to the intimacy of a couple’s relationship, but she shrugged it off and moved on to the other sections.

 “What are those?” Eli pointed to an entire shelf full of dildos of different shapes and sizes.

 “They’re dildos,” Nozomi replied matter-of-factly. “Remember that time when you asked me what they were? ...yeah, that’s what they look like.”

 Eli’s eyes widened, then she quickly moved on, not wishing to taint her eyes with the sight of penis-shaped objects.

 “And...what about these?” Eli stopped at another perplexing section.

 “Oh, those are butt plugs. People usually insert them into their butthole to stimul- Nicocchi! Stop laughing!”

 Behind the counter, Nico was guffawing as Nozomi was using her hands to demonstrate the use of a butt plug to Eli, whose face was completely red. 

 Eli continued walking past the shelves and ventured into the porn section, where she was astonished at the variety of genres of films they had - they were in fact more diverse than the movies they were showing in cinemas. She eventually returned to Nozomi again, who was arranging bottles of lubricant on the shelves.

 “So...yeah. This is basically the retail job I’m doing,” Nozomi spoke with a tinge of apprehensiveness in her voice.

 “Nozomi,” Eli muttered, “You’re not pulling my leg...right?”

 “Why would she be joking? I would’ve chased her out already if she was,” Nico piped up behind the counter.”

 “But why would you work in such a...morally reprehensible place?” Eli’s voice was shaking.

 “Our job is not morally reprehensible in any sense,” Nozomi started to get defensive. “The customers who come here are genuinely interested in our products, mostly consisting of young couples who want to improve their sex life. We basically assist them in making their choices and answer queries about our products, just that the products we sell are for highly specific purposes. Right, Nicocchi?”

 “Yeah, yeah!” Nico replied. “No hanky panky goes on around here, most of the customers are respectable people, with the exception of the occasional lewd middle-aged man. But every retail job has its share of difficult customers.”

 Nozomi placed a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “The reason I brought you all the way here instead of just telling you over a meal or a text was to get rid of any initial impression you might have about my job. Although I’m working in an adult shop, it’s just like any other respectable retail job.”

 There was a moment of silence as Nozomi awaited Eli’s response.

 Eli lightly brushed Nozomi’s hand away. “I...I still cannot come to terms that you’re working in such a place.”

 Nozomi froze and her blood went cold.

 “You clearly know my conservative stance, yet you brought me to  _ this place _ .”

 Nozomi stuttered, “A-as I said, I-I was trying to-”

 “I’m sorry, Nozomi, but I need some time to think about this.” That being said, Eli headed towards the shop’s entrance and exited the shop without turning back.

_ “No,”  _ Nozomi thought.  _ “That was not supposed to happen. Didn’t the cards say it would turn out alright?” _

 Nico hopped off her seat and approached Nozomi. “Don’t be too bothered about this, it’s normal for most people to react this way. She’ll get over it eventually.”

_ “The cards never lie.” _


	8. Chapter 8

 

 For the next few days, Eli did not speak to Nozomi in person or on the phone. Although she was busy with her internship, the incident at LOVE GURU was still sitting at the back of her mind. Whenever she was free and had nothing to occupy herself with, it kept resurfacing over and over again.

 Eli got back one evening, exhausted after a mentally demanding day at work. 

 “I’m back,” she mumbled as she entered her room, where Umi was blowing her hair dry after a shower.

 “Good evening, Eli,” Umi replied in her usual polite fashion, amidst the humming of the hair dryer.

 Eli hung her bag on the hook, removed her glasses and plopped herself on her bed, a loud sigh escaping her mouth. She lay there for some time, until Umi finished blow drying her long, dark hair and combed it straight.

 “You seem particularly down these few days. Is there anything bothering you?” Umi sauntered towards Eli, who was still lying in bed with her hair still tied up and her arm dangling from the side of the bed.

 Eli never told Umi about the LOVE GURU incident. Umi was way more conservative than her, to the point where she would actually chide Eli if she wore anything mildly revealing (like a crop top or a short skirt), and Eli was certain Umi would flip and possibly pass out if she told her that Nozomi was actually working in an adult shop.

 “Nothing much really, thanks for your concern anyway,” Eli responded as she turned over and attempted to roll off the bed. Alas, she overestimated her roll and fell hard on the ground.

 “ _ Der’mo, _ ” Eli murmured. Umi looked behind after hearing a ‘thud’ and shook her head, sighing.

* * *

 As Eli stepped into the shower, thoughts about her getting worked up about Nozomi’s profession flooded her mind again. She could not comprehend why she herself was so upset about finding out this piece of information. It seemed like she was being cheated by Nozomi, someone she was so invested in and cared so much about. Not telling her that she was working in such a terrible place, then suddenly bringing her to her workplace and showing her all those vile things... She almost felt betrayed by Nozomi, who had hidden such a vital piece of information of her life from her, and allowed their friendship to progress to a point where it was hard for Eli to let go, before telling her that she was working in a  _ stinking sex shop _ .

 Eli was dejected, yet at the same time she could not bring herself to hate Nozomi.

 She increased the water pressure from the showerhead, as if trying to pressure wash all those thoughts out of her head.

* * *

 

 Nozomi was commuting home from work, and having nothing to do, she opened ‘LINE’ on her phone. It had been 3 days since she brought Eli to LOVE GURU, and she had not heard from her since then. When Eli told her to give her some time to come to terms with Nozomi’s profession, Nozomi did not worry that much when she did not get any message by that night. However, this dragged on to the second day, and it was now the third day and Nozomi was genuinely worried.

 Perhaps Eli was upset with her? Nozomi did not want her fears to come true, but at the same time, she knew this could not drag any longer.

 Nozomi started typing a message to Eli.

* * *

 Eli was doing some work on her laptop when her phone vibrated. She checked her phone, and saw that she received a LINE message.

 It was from Nozomi.

**_“Are you mad at me?”_ ** the message read, with a sticker of a crying cartoon raccoon below.

 Eli stared at the message for a while, thinking about how to reply.

 Then another message came in.

**_“Remember what you told me about ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’?”_ **

 Her mind went back to that incident where she was talking about her internship to Nozomi over parfaits, and referenced that quote from Atticus Finch.  _ ‘You never really understand a person...until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.’ _

 In her current situation, it  _ did _ make some sense. Eli never worked in an adult shop, who was she to judge Nozomi’s claims about how the job was like? Despite Nozomi claiming that it was a respectable job that did not compromise her moral values, Eli was too stubborn and allowed the stigma surrounding sex-related paraphernalia and her aversion towards the public display of one’s sexuality cloud her judgement.

 And indeed, Nozomi was not that sort of person in any sense. The Nozomi she knew was kind-hearted, pure and spiritual - not sleazy and promiscuous as what she previously perceived adult shop workers to be.

 Coming to that conclusion, Eli felt like a heavy weight was lifted from her heart. Hanging out with Nozomi would not undermine her moral values and beliefs, and she could accept her as she was.

 After some moments of pondering, Eli typed out her reply.

**_“Sorry for not talking to you ever since that day.”_ **

**_“I’m not mad at you.”_ **

**_“I thought about it, and yes, that quote is very true.”_ **

**_“Who am I to judge the nature of your job when you are the one who knows it the best?”_ **

**_“I came to the conclusion that my perception of your job was flawed, and regardless of your profession, it doesn’t affect who you are, and you are truly a nice person, Nozomi.”_ **

**_“Please forgive my outburst that day.”_ **

 Eli appended those messages with a sticker to lighten the sombre tone, then waited with bated breath for Nozomi’s reply.

 A few moments later, a message came in.

**_“Aww man, you had me worried there! (^_^;;) I understand it is hard for someone like you to come to terms with my job, but I’m glad that you finally did.”_ **

**_“Seriously though, I was a tad concerned after you didn’t message me for 3 days, which was why I decided to do so first. Don’t mind me asking, but were you really bothered by this?”_ **

 She did not know how Nozomi managed to see through this. Indeed, Eli found herself overly troubled by the shocking discovery of Nozomi’s profession. At that time, it felt like she was going to risk losing her relationship with Nozomi because of a conflict in moral values. This was ridiculous because Eli could always choose to maintain an otherwise more distant friendship with her, but somehow, Eli desperately did not want that to happen. 

 Perhaps Eli was too invested in her relationship in Nozomi already.

 Maybe Nozomi was no longer ‘just a friend’ to her.

 Eli had fallen in love with Nozomi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 hits! :D Thanks for following this story all this while, and if there's anything you would like to contact me about, you can do so via [my Tumblr.](http://a-bucket-full-of-feels.tumblr.com/)


	9. Chapter 9

 Eli happened to have a weekend library shift that ended right after Nozomi’s work hours, so they met up to have some snacks from a roadside stall.

 “You really got me worried there when you walked out of my workplace and didn’t talk for me to 3 days,” Nozomi mentioned.

 Eli ground her foot on the pavement awkwardly. “S...Sorry, I was just really confused back then.”

 Nozomi sighed and continued, “I really didn’t want it to turn out like how it did when my parents found out.”

 “Oh?”

 “Basically after I graduated from high school, I did not set my mind on pursuing a university degree - I decided to work to earn some money of my own first, and possibly get a diploma while studying part-time. Now my parents were not exactly approving of this decision, but I proceeded with it anyway.”

 Eli nodded as Nozomi carried on with her story.

 “After working in a department store for a year or so, I chanced upon this adult shop that was hiring. The wages were better, the working hours were more flexible and it was nearer to my apartment, so I applied for the job. Our boss is pretty nice and that’s where I met Nicocchi, who is a very fun colleague to have, so I enjoyed this job much more. But my parents, who were already displeased with my original decision, got even more disappointed since they also had the impression that an adult shop was an indecent place to work in. ”

 “Coupled with the several years of living apart from them, ever since I told them about this job, I started drifting further and further apart from my parents. Since then, we seldom communicate with one another - a short conversation over the phone once or twice a month at the least, and I haven’t visited them for a year.”

 Eli noticed a tinge of sadness in Nozomi’s glistening turquoise eyes. Nozomi was not the kind of person that would easily bare her heart to others, and whenever she did, it wrenched Eli’s own heart.

 “I-I didn’t know this affected you so personally, I was so self-absorbed and selfish back then-”

 Nozomi gently placed a finger on Eli’s lip. “It’s alright, Elicchi. The issue has been resolved, let’s just put it behind us. You don’t need to feel apologetic about my family matters, what matters is that I have met someone like you whom I feel happy to be with, and I’m really thankful for that.”

 Eli felt her face turn warm and she furrowed her eyebrows, partially because she felt bad at how nice Nozomi was to her and partially as an attempt to stop herself from blushing because of Nozomi’s touch.

 “Don’t look so serious, Elicchi! This is why I don’t like talking about things like this with you - you always get so uptight about it!” Nozomi giggled and playfully poked Eli’s cheek.

 Eli reddened even more deeply and felt like melting into a puddle that instant. Why was she so stupidly smitten with Nozomi? The Ayase Eli everyone knew was confident, eloquent and aloof; she was the student council president back in high school and currently an honours student in law school, earning the respect and admiration of many of her peers and juniors. And yet with Nozomi, she was reduced to a bumbling mess who exposed her emotions way too much.

 The two girls continued walking while nibbling on their taiyaki.

 “C’mon, let’s switch the topic to something less serious,” Nozomi piped up. “I’m finally going to get my diploma next week!”

 “Really?” Eli replied. “What a coincidence! I’ll be ending my internship next week as well.”

 “That’s wonderful! Why not we go for a fancy dinner to celebrate?” Nozomi suggested.

 “Fancy dinner...as long as it is not too extravagant, I’m all in!” Eli agreed.

 “You have any places in mind?”

 Eli thought for a moment. “Ah, I heard Umi mention this restaurant she visited with her friends that serves pretty good western style cuisine. It’s called ‘Glass Garden’ and it’s a cosy restaurant not too far off the suburbs, and they even have a mini garden behind the place.”

 Nozomi smiled. “That sounds great, I’m looking forward to it!”

* * *

 

 A few days later, Eli was having her dinner by herself at the dormitory canteen when she heard some familiar giggles.

 She spun around, and as she guessed, sitting behind her was Maki, Rin and Hanayo, with Maki looking particularly embarrassed and distressed.

 “What are you girls laughing about?” Eli asked.

 Rin chuckled even more. “Maki-chan’s in love with someone  _ nya _ !”

 “We’re encouraging her to confess her feelings, but she refuses to,” Hanayo added.

 Maki’s face was the same shade of red as her hair and her arms were crossed. “What do you mean? I-It’s not like I particularly like that person or anything!”

 Hanayo and Rin continued to giggle uncontrollably while Rin teasingly poked Maki’s puffed up cheeks. Eli laughed along at their banter for a while before turning back to continue her meal.

 Then an idea struck her - maybe she should tell Nozomi about her feelings.

 But...what were the implications of doing so? Eli was perfectly fine with their relationship remaining just as it was, with both of them being good friends and Eli having a possibly one-sided hopeless crush on her.

 At the same time, Eli felt that being friends was not enough. What if she and Nozomi could become more than just friends? What if they could bring their relationship to the next level, and Eli could claim Nozomi to be her lover?

 Such prospects made Eli feel light-headed and dizzy. Having Nozomi as her girlfriend was not easy - being recognised as spouses if she and Nozomi were to get married in Japan was currently not an option (she couldn’t believe her mind drifted to marriage and mentally slapped the thought away shortly after), and there was this huge hurdle of getting her conservative family to accept Nozomi as her girlfriend. Yet, there was an inner voice inside her egging her on to take that bold step.

 Right there, in the raucous, crowded dormitory canteen, the logical, level-headed Ayase Eli made a irrational, foolish decision: Eli was going to confess to Nozomi at Glass Garden.


	10. Chapter 10

 “Have you ever fallen in love before?” Eli asked Umi one night.

 “W-what?” Umi spun around and stared at Eli, who was lying on her bed while aimlessly scrolling through her phone.

 “Just asking,” Eli quipped nonchalantly.

 Umi chuckled. “Of course I haven’t. At least not until Honoka and Kotori does.”

 “Really?” Eli propped herself up a bit. Again, Honoka and Kotori came into the picture. Umi always talked about them.

 “They always say things like ‘Umi-chan, you’re hopeless’, when they themselves aren’t much better when it comes to matters like romance. Kotori does get a lot of admirers from her classes, but she ’s never really committed to a relationship and  has always prioritised hanging out with us instead. And Honoka...don’t even talk about her, she cares about food more than anything else. So looking at how things are going, we might as well spend the rest of our lives together.”

 Eli giggled at Umi’s short anecdote. “It seems like the three of you are really close.”

 “You could say so,” Umi replied. “Speaking of which, why did you ask such a question? Are you dating someone?”

 “N-not yet, I-I mean, no I’m n-not…”

 Eli quickly decided to divert the topic. “Um anyway, you know that restaurant ‘Glass Garden’ that you told me about a while ago right? I’m planning to go there for dinner tomorrow, do you have directions to that place?”

 “Nice! Yes I do, let me just pull it out of my phone,” Umi started to look through her phone. “Who are you going with by the way?”

 “N...Nozomi. We’re celebrating the end of my internship and the end of Nozomi’s business diploma.”

 A knowing smile flashed across Umi’s face.

 “Okay, I found it. Let me just send it to you via LINE.”

 “Thanks, Umi!”

 As soon as Eli received Umi’s message, she opened it up and scrutinised the map and directions.

 “Hey Eli,” Umi spoke. “Good luck for tomorrow.”

 Eli’s heart skipped a beat.  _ How did she know she was going to confess to Nozomi? _

 “Oh...uh...thank you.”

_ She felt like she needed all the luck she could get. _

* * *

 Nozomi and Eli arrived at their rendezvous point slightly ahead of time, which gave them ample time to wait for the only bus that could take them to their destination and figure out how to walk to the restaurant from the bus stop.

 “It’s such a secluded place,” Nozomi commented.

 “Well, it’s located on top of a small hill and surrounded by lush greenery, so the atmosphere must be really peaceful there,” Eli quipped, and briefly looked up to check for the bus. 

 Fortunately for them the bus arrived shortly and they arrived at their destination not long after. Following the map and directions closely, Nozomi and Eli eventually managed to find their way to ‘Glass Garden’ - a quaint little cottage with a faint, homely glow emanating from the windows.

* * *

 “Table for two,” Eli told the friendly-looking waiter who escorted them to their seat. The restaurant was not too crowded, especially for a weekend night, yet it was filled with the warm presence of relaxed and contented diners. The soft drone of casual conversations and the gentle clinking of silverware filled the place, and the air smelled of freshly baked bread and grilled meats.

 Upon the recommendations of the waiter, Eli and Nozomi ordered their food. Once they were done, Nozomi casually took out her phone and started checking her messages. Seeing that, Eli did so as well.

 While she was aimlessly scrolling through her Twitter feed, Eli nervously looked up at Nozomi every now and then.  _ “Now’s your chance, Eli. You’ve waited for this day to tell her, go for it  _ **_now_ ** _!” _

 Eli spoke in a small voice “Um Nozomi, I-”

 Nozomi broke into a giggle. “Nicocchi’s siblings are so cute, just look at them.”

 Nozomi showed a photo Nico posted on Instagram to Eli. In the photo was Nico and her two younger sisters and brother having fun at a water park earlier that day.

 “They’re really adorable, they all look so alike,” Eli promptly brushed her confession attempt aside and looked at the photo. She was fond of children, and she was completely smitten at that photo of Nico’s younger siblings.

 Shortly after, Eli and Nozomi put down their phones and started talking for a bit. As they talked, Eli slowly started to build her courage again, waiting for the opportune moment to bring up the topic.

 There was a moment of silence between them, and Eli decided to jump at it.

 “Say, Nozomi, can I-”

 Just then, a waitress came over with their dishes. “Two house special prime cut steak, enjoy your meal.”

 Eli sighed internally at her second botched attempt.

* * *

 The meal was excellent, and they even had room for dessert. After finishing their desserts, the two of them continued to sit in the restaurant and chat while sipping on their cocktails.

_ “Okay, Eli, you cannot delay this any longer. You are going to tell her that you love her right now!” _

 “Hey, Nozomi, I have something to-”

 “I think we should ask for the bill now,” Nozomi cut in just as she saw a waiter walking past, and gestured to him, indicating they were ready to pay.

 As the both of them stepped out of the restaurant after paying the bill, Eli tried her best to hide her downcast face.

 “Why don’t we walk around the garden first, Elicchi? We’ve come all the way here, might as well enjoy the place fully,” Nozomi suggested, lightly tugging Eli by the arm.

 “Well, okay.”

 Although it was dark, the garden was lit up by strategically placed lamps. The cobblestone path was lined with tiny bushes with petite, pastel coloured flowers, and the end of the path was marked with a simple but beautiful flower arch and a small stone pavilion. Behind the pavilion was a pond with a fountain fixture in the middle. The clear waters reflected the moonlight and light from the surrounding lamps, giving the effect of broken glass.

 “Even though this place is a bit out of the way, it was totally worth our time coming here - the food was great and the garden is really pretty,” Nozomi beamed as she looked at Eli.

 “Yep, it was great,” Eli replied quietly.

 Nozomi admired the glass-like pond for a moment, then turned back to Eli. “Elicchi, were you about to tell me something just now?”

 Eli’s heart raced and her palms started to feel clammy. “Um, I...uh...it’s nothing really…” Her tongue was suddenly in knots.

 Nozomi lightly touched Eli’s arms. “If it’s something important, you can just say it. There’s nothing to hide between us.”

 Eli felt her stomach churning and momentarily regretted holding off this moment till after dinner. She wanted to make a dash to the bathroom, but her feet were rooted in the ground.

_ “Now is your final chance!” _

 Eli looked at Nozomi in the eye. Her turquoise eyes were still as mysterious and beautiful as on the very first day she met.

 “Nozomi...I like you! Please go out with me!”

 Those words finally escaped Eli and she could feel her heart throbbing in her throat. Eli subconsciously screwed her eyes shut as she nervously anticipated Nozomi’s response.

 She did not hear any response.

 Slowly, Eli opened her eyes. There, she saw Nozomi with both hands clasped over her mouth and her face completely flushed pink. She was taking in short, sharp breaths - she seemed to be crying.

 “Nozomi,” Eli spoke again, softly this time. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

 “Elicchi, you mean the world to me,” Nozomi’s voice cracked. “You don’t know how long I have been waiting for this day.”

 “So does that mean…”

 “Yes, yes! A thousand times ‘yes’!”

 At that moment, Nozomi buried herself in Eli’s bosom and wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace. Eli too circled her arms around Nozomi, bringing herself closer to her. Eli could smell her distinctive floral fragrance and feel the gentle heaving of Nozomi’s chest as her silent tearing broke into full fledged sobbing.

 “I was so afraid when you almost didn’t accept my for my job back then,” Nozomi bawled. “I really did not want to lose you.”

 Eli’s nerves finally calmed down as she was enveloped in Nozomi’s warmth. “I will never leave you again,” she replied soothingly.

 Right there, in the Garden of Glass, two lonely girls found love.

* * *

 Eli flew through her room door with a smile of bliss and relief plastered on her face. The moment the door shut, she picked Umi up in her arms and gave her a tight hug, catching her unaware.

 “E-Eli? Why?” Umi was in complete shock, as she was so engrossed in her book a moment ago, and Eli never embraced her since the day they were roommates.

 “Thank you, Umi,” Eli whispered into Umi’s ear. “I confessed my feelings to Nozomi and she accepted me, we are officially together now.”

 Umi awkwardly returned the hug. “Congratulations, but what did I have to do with it?”

 “You wished me ‘good luck’ yesterday for my confession, right?”

 Umi laughed. “Oh really? What I meant was that ‘the restaurant is in a very obscure location, good luck in finding the place’.”

 Eli suddenly detached herself from Umi. “What? That’s what you meant?”

 “Well, I couldn’t have meant anything else…”

 What followed was Eli plunging into bed and burrowing her head under her pillow for the next 15 minutes, while Umi sighed at her yet again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'll be overseas for the next one and a half weeks, so I won't be able to post new chapters then. I'll continue posting once I come back!

 Although Eli and Nozomi were now officially together as a couple, their time together did not change very much, since they had been hanging out quite often to begin with. However, with the end of Eli’s internship, Eli was able to commit more hours at the library again, which meant that she saw Nozomi more often. This also freed up time for her to visit Nozomi at the shrine every now and then. She had even picked Nozomi up from her workplace once before going on a date, something that had heartened Nozomi greatly - it was an indication of Eli opening her mind.

 Their relationship, though, naturally became more intimate, be it brief hugs before they parted, holding their hands while walking through the streets, or casually leaning on each other’s shoulders while on the train. While such displays of physical affection came naturally from Nozomi, Eli was more coy about it, often blushing or fumbling in her footsteps whenever Nozomi leaned in to be closer to her.

* * *

 “Business has been unexpectedly good as of late,” Nico spoke as soon as she and Nozomi took a quick breather from a hectic day at work.

 “Yep,” Nozomi replied. “Ever since that really popular lifestyle blogger wrote about our shop, it had been making its rounds on the internet and suddenly so many people are coming down here.”

 “That’s a good thing, but I’m pooped,” Nico sighed as she opened a packet of strawberry milk.

 “Hey, by the way, Elicchi and I are dating.”

 “Oh really? Finally. I was wondering how long you two were going to take to get things going, both of you practically seemed like a couple already.”

 Nozomi laughed. “Were we really that obvious?”

 Nico smirked, then took a sip of her milk. “Yeah, of course. But good for you, at least you’re finally in a relationship, unlike me. I’ve been visiting the lesbian bars in 2-chome every other day after work and I still haven’t found a suitable girlfriend to boot.”

 Nozomi placed her hand on the petite girl’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Nicocchi. Your time will come soon.”

* * *

 “You’re too tense, Elicchi,” Nozomi commented as she took hold of Eli’s hand while they were strolling along a small street lined with tradition Japanese-style shophouses, her voice smooth as silk.

 “Um...I’m sorry…” Eli felt her face heating up yet again.

 “Geez, since we’re openly dating, you don’t need to feel embarrassed about it!” Nozomi lightly swung Eli’s arms as they continued walking towards a sweet shop.

 The natural swinging motion from their interlocked hands allowed Eli to relax, and she smiled as she felt the warmth from Nozomi’s hand reach hers. Eventually, they reached the sweet shop, ‘Homura’.

 “Oh, that’s the sweet shop owned by Umi’s friend’s family. She visits it very often to eat their sweets, maybe we should take a look,” Eli suggested.

 “Mm sure!” Nozomi nodded in agreement and they entered the shop.

* * *

 “Welcome!” A brown-haired girl chirped as the both of them stepped in.

 To Eli’s surprise, seated at the small table in the corner of the shop was Umi, as well as another girl with ash-coloured hair.

 “Eli, what a coincidence! We weren’t expecting you here,” Umi got up from her seat and approached Eli.

 “We just happened to be passing by,” Eli replied, still holding Nozomi’s hand tightly.

 “Oh, on a date with Nozomi-san?” Umi asked, to which Eli smiled and blushed lightly.

 “Ah, let me introduce you to my friends,” Umi continued. “This is Honoka, she’s the one running this shop with her family. And this is Kotori, she’s studying fashion design in the fine arts faculty. Kotori, Honoka, this is my roommate Eli and her girlfriend, Nozomi-san.”

 “Hello!” Kotori waved.

 “Hi Eli-san, Nozomi-san!” Honoka enthusiastically shook their hands. “Eli-san, I’ve heard many good things about you from Umi-chan. As a way of thanking you for taking care of Umi-chan in the dormitory and making sure she does not die, anything you purchase here will be at half-price!”

 “Honoka!” Umi’s voice was stern but with a tinge of embarrassment as well. “What do you mean by ‘making sure she does not die’? Speak for yourself instead!”

 A heated verbal exchange ensued between Honoka and Umi, while a distressed Kotori tried to separate them, reminding them that there were customers in the shop. Eli chuckled at their lively banter.

 Once Kotori successfully pushed the both of them apart, Honoka proceeded to show Eli and Nozomi around the shop, allowing them to sample some of their famous manju and other sweets. In the end, Eli and Nozomi decided to purchase a box of manju each, and even stayed for a cup of tea with the three friends.

 “Thank you for visiting ‘Homura’, please come again soon!” Honoka waved the both of them goodbye as they left after making their purchases.

 “Both of you are really cute together by the way!” Kotori quipped with a sweet voice.

 Nozomi giggled while Eli blushed furiously again.

* * *

 On the way to the train station, Nozomi and Eli passed by Otonokizaka Park. A poster caught Nozomi’s eye.

 “Look, Otonokizaka Park’s annual light up will be next week. We missed last year’s, do you want to go for this one, Elicchi?” Nozomi suggested.

 “Oh...okay, I’m free,” Eli beamed. “Make sure you’re not late for this one!”

 “I’ll definitely try my best!” Nozomi playfully stuck out her tongue and they both continued on to the train station for their journey back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was contemplating on adding a smut scene somewhere in the later chapters of the story (not so soon though), but I thought it would be better to ask you all if you want me to include one. Click [here](http://www.strawpoll.me/10386230) to vote. (Of course, if I do include smut, I will have to change the ratings later on.)


	12. Chapter 12

_ “Wow, has it really been over a year already?” _ Eli thought to herself while staring at her phone lock screen in bed, which was a selfie of her and Nozomi.

 It was exactly a year ago when she and Nozomi went to Otonokizaka Park together, which was about four and a half months after the first time Eli set her eyes on Nozomi. Time seemed to pass really fast whenever Eli was with Nozomi - it seemed like they had just gotten together last week. On the other hand, Eli felt like she had known Nozomi forever, their hearts intertwined with each other’s.

* * *

 On the day of the light up itself, despite business being more brisk at LOVE GURU as of late, Nozomi managed to get off work on time. In fact, she left the shop a few minutes early, anticipation fuelling her to speed up her cleaning up.

 “Have fun with Eli-san!” Nico bade Nozomi farewell as they parted ways.

 “Thanks,” Nozomi replied, “See you tomorrow!”

* * *

 When Nozomi arrived at Otonokizaka station, she noticed that Eli was already there waiting for her.

 “Looks like someone is really excited for our date,” Nozomi said teasingly as she approached Eli.

 Eli chuckled softly. “Yeah. Thank goodness you’re not late this time.”

 “I told you I would try to,” Nozomi responded, taking Eli’s hand, and both of them waded into the sea of people.

 “This is exactly like how it was last year,” Eli commented. “You held my hand as you led me to the park amidst the crowds - that was the first time you held my hand.”

 Nozomi looked at Eli tenderly. “You actually remembered something as trivial as that? How sentimental, Elicchi.”

 That was not the only thing Eli remembered. The first time she saw Nozomi, the first time they spoke, the first date they went on, the first time she started calling her ‘Eli’ followed by ‘Elicchi’ - all these events were imprinted in her mind, kept in her mental glass jar of special memories.

 The two girls eventually reached the area of the light show in Otonokizaka Park. Fortunately, they arrived earlier this time and had the luxury of choosing a prime location to watch the show.

 “How about here, Elicchi? You can see the stage quite clearly and it’s not too close to the central area where most people will gather,” Nozomi pointed to a corner at the garden area.

 Eli agreed, and they promptly settled there, just as the crowds started forming.

* * *

 The light show was spectacular, and everyone was absolutely wowed by it, especially at the end.

 When the lights dimmed and everything returned to normal, the crowds started to disperse. Nozomi and Eli, however, decided to continue standing at where they were, enjoying each other’s company.

 “I’m glad we finally made it for the whole show this year,” Eli smiled, drawing herself closer to Nozomi.

 “Yep, although we did not have to pay a thing and it was crowded just like last year, it just felt so magical,” Nozomi replied, wrapping her arm around Eli’s waist.

 Eli turned to face her girlfriend and looked directly in her turquoise eyes. A few months ago, when she had still been hiding her true feelings for Nozomi, she dared not look straight at her, afraid that doing so would cause her emotional walls to crumble, baring all those thoughts to Nozomi. Now that those feelings were made known to her, Eli allowed all her unspoken love and care for Nozomi to be transmitted to her by simple physical gestures.

 Eli spoke with a quiet voice, soft enough only for the two of them to hear. “Isn’t it amazing? A year ago, we were here as friends, but today, we are here as lovers.”

_ Were their faces ever this close? _

 “To me, being able to meet you was amazing already.” Nozomi’s arms circled around Eli’s neck as she pulled her closer.

 Eli could feel Nozomi’s warm breath tickling her cheek as their noses were barely touching. Oh god, why was her heart beating so fast?

 Then, Nozomi leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Eli’s lips.

 It was Eli’s first ever kiss, and her eyes remained wide opened and her entire body turned rigid as she felt Nozomi’s tender lips touch hers.

 “Relax,” Nozomi briefly parted and whispered before her lips met Eli’s again.

 As Nozomi’s hands moved up Eli’s neck and grasped at her mid-length blonde hair as she continued to deliver gentle pecks on Eli’s lips, Eli felt the tension melt away. With fluid movements, Eli closed her eyes as her arms wrapped around Nozomi’s waist, while both of them continued to hold on to the kiss.

 Eventually both of them pulled apart and Eli again gazed at Nozomi’s face, which was slightly red but had the most soothing smile written on it.

 “Elicchi,” Nozomi crooned, “I love you.”


	13. Chapter 13

 Eli was nearing the end of her undergraduate law degree program. She had one more extended break before the final stretch of her course, before she could finally prepare and sit for the national bar exams and start her journey as a practising lawyer. For that last holiday, Eli and her family decided that she would go back home to visit.

 On the intended day of departure, Nozomi followed Eli all the way to the bullet train station, where Nozomi was going to send Eli off.

 Eli glanced at the train station clock. “Looks like the train will be coming in less than a minute, I guess I should get going.”

 “Have a safe trip! Enjoy your stay with your family,” Nozomi gave Eli a farewell hug.

 “Don’t miss me too much,” Eli chuckled as she planted a quick kiss on Nozomi’s cheek, before picking up her bags.

 “Bye!” Nozomi waved, and stood at the platform until Eli boarded the train and left.

* * *

 Since Eli chose to depart on a weekday, her parents were at work and thus unable to meet her at the station. Fortunately, Alisa would have ended school by the time Eli arrived, so she agreed to pick Eli up instead.

 Eli eventually reached her destination and hopped of the train. As soon as she got past the ticket gantry, Eli searched through the crowds for a slim-built blonde-haired girl.

 “Onee-chan!” an all-familiar sweet voice called out from behind her.

 Eli spun around. It was Alisa. She had not seen her in person for quite some time, and Eli noticed she had grown her hair longer, and her baby fats had almost disappeared - her younger sister had matured into a refined young lady.

 “Alisa! It’s been a long time!” Eli dropped her bags and they both embraced each other.

 Soon after, Alisa helped Eli with her bags as they walked out of the station.

 “Are you hungry, Onee-chan? After we drop your bags off at home, we can go to the eatery next to our house for tea,” Alisa suggested.

 “That’s great,” Eli beamed. “I haven’t eaten there for so long, let’s hurry!”

* * *

 Nico and Nozomi were having a breather behind the shop’s counter when their boss emerged from the room and approached them.

 “Yazawa-san, Tojo-san, could you stay for 15 minutes longer after work? I have something important to tell you too.”

 “Sure.” The both of them agreed, and he promptly slunk back into the room.

 “Hey, what do you think Matsuzaka is going to tell us about? A pay raise?” Nico whispered to Nozomi, grinning.

 “That’s plausible, given how we have been doing very well recently,” Nozomi replied contemplatively, “But somehow my senses tell me that it’s going to be something much more than that.”

 “You and your senses!’ Nico slapped Nozomi playfully on the arm. “But your predictions are always spot on, so this better not be disappointing!”

* * *

 Eli and Alisa spent the afternoon at the eatery catching up on each other’s lives, laughing and enjoying the entertaining stories both of them had shared.

 “Onee-chan, you seem to be particularly cheerful as of late,” Alisa commented.

 “Really? That’s what you noticed?” Eli was intrigued.

 Alisa giggled. “Is it because...have you fallen in love recently?”

 Eli smiled shyly and placed a hand on her mouth. “Well…”

 “Ooh, ooh,” Alisa’s eyes widened. “What kind of person is he? Is he particularly good-looking by any chance?”

 As soon as Eli heard the word ‘he’, she felt like something got caught in her throat and a chill shot through her body.

 All this while, she had been dating Nozomi, but it never crossed her mind that she eventually had to introduce her to her family.

 Her family, where she had her conservative values inculcated from; her family, who definitely would not agree if she was in a romantic relationship with a girl.

 As much as she loved Nozomi, she could not bring herself to strain her relationship with her family.

 Eli never felt so conflicted in her life.

 “Onee-chan…?”

 Eli quickly composed herself, and attempted to salvage the situation by steering away from the topic. “Ah, Alisa, what are you talking about? Anyway, now that you’re going to graduate from high school, how are your university applications coming about?” 

 “Oh,” Alisa’s tone of voice changed, as if she suddenly remembered something. “I’ve been reading up on some courses I’m interested in, as well as preparing for the admission tests and procedures for a few universities in Moscow.”

 “Moscow? Why aren’t you applying for universities in Japan?”

 “I know Dad and Mum wanted to tell you about this after they come back tonight, but since we’re talking about it, I might as well tell you now - we’re intending to move back to Russia.”

 Eli’s breathing momentarily stopped. “What?”

 “Something to do with Dad’s company, but I don’t really know much. I’ll let them do the explaining later.”

 Eli’s insides did a flip-flop and she found herself biting her lip to fight back tears of shock and confusion. Going back to Russia meant that she would have to give up everything she had here - she had to give up her friends, she had to give up her prospective law career, and she had to give up Nozomi.

 She did not want to leave Nozomi.

* * *

 As agreed, after work, Nico and Nozomi followed their boss into his room for the ‘important meeting’.

 “Tojo-san, Yazawa-san, so as you know, our shop has been doing quite well for the past few months,” he drawled in his monotone voice.

 “Yes?” Nico nodded, sparkly-eyed, unable to contain her eagerness.

 “After careful consideration and discussion with the relevant parties, I have decided to open another outlet of LOVE GURU.”

 Nico and Nozomi looked at each other excitedly.

 “I will be overseeing the management of this new outlet, which means I won’t be around our shop here very often in the near future. Tojo-san, Yazawa-san, both of you have been working here for quite some time already. You both have proven to be trustworthy employees. Therefore, from now onwards, the both of you will be in control of this shop.”

 “Thank you, Matsuzaka-san!” the two girls bowed deeply in gratitude and briefly hugged each other, before Matsuzaka started to brief them on the handover process.

 After work, Nozomi and Nico went to a nearby izakaya to celebrate over food and drinks.

 “You’re right again, Nozomi! It was not just a pay raise, but a promotion! I can’t wait to tell the good news to my family,” Nico cheered as she poured a beer for Nozomi and herself.

 “My spiritual powers are not to be underestimated,” Nozomi smirked. “But this means we will have to work harder from now on, so you better not slack too much, Nicocchi.”

_ “I should tell Elicchi about this as well, she will be elated to find out.” _

* * *

 Eli had dinner with her parents and sister at home, something she had not done for a long while as well.

 “I understand your concerns about going back, Eli. But rest assured that your law degree won’t go to waste - you can easily work as a legal consultant in my company, and I guarantee you that you will be well off working there,” Eli’s dad reassuringly told a concerned Eli as they broached the topic on leaving for Russia.

 “Yes,” her mum gently laid her hand on Eli’s. “Besides, your grandmother will be overjoyed to see you after so many years. She has a lot of things to tell you.”

 Eli  _ did _ miss her grandmother dearly - she was the one who coined the nickname ‘cute and clever Elichika’ for her when she was young, and Eli loved her the most among all her family members. Perhaps that was one of the few things Eli could look forward to when going back, but it was not compelling enough for her to  _ want _ to go back.

 Not like she had much of a choice anyway.

 After dinner, Eli hung around the living room watching television with Alisa for a while before retiring to her room. Despite her absence, everything had been properly maintained just like how it was when she was still living there.

 Eli pulled out her laptop to check her email out of habit. As she scrolled through her unread messages, she noticed a particular name that seemed vaguely familiar, but somehow she could not put a finger on who it was.

 Out of curiosity, she clicked on it.

 It was him.

 She had not heard from him since she left Russia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you want to ask me anything at length, tag me in your fanart inspired by this AU or see me ramble about this fic, feel free to follow my Tumblr (a-bucket-full-of-feels).


	14. Chapter 14

**_“Guess what Elicchi? I got promoted - our boss is handing over the management of the shop to Nicocchi and me!”_ ** Nozomi messaged Eli the next morning just after she woke up.

 As she went about her morning routine before leaving for work, Nozomi kept an eye out for a phone, anticipating Eli’s reply. However, she did not hear her phone buzz once, even after she was ready to leave the house.

_ “I guess Elicchi’s still sleeping, she’s on holiday after all.” _

* * *

 It was almost noon when Eli finally decided to pull herself out of bed, exhausted after the whole turn of events the day before. Groggily, she fumbled for her phone. There was a new message on LINE from Nozomi, and she opened it to read the contents.

 To Nozomi, it was a message filled with joy and hope, but when Eli read it, she felt nothing but dejection and despair.

 The night before, she had this sliver of hope that she could somehow convince Nozomi to follow her back to Russia. And just like that, this sliver of hope slipped through the cracks of her fingers.

 Eli sighed and put down her phone.

* * *

 “What’s up with you, Nozomi? You’ve been aimlessly checking your LINE messages the whole day,” Nico commented after seeing Nozomi whip out her phone for the third time during their lunch break.

 “I’ve been checking it that much?” Nozomi asked. “Ah, I did not know it was that noticeable, maybe I’m just too nervous in waiting for that reply.”

 “Are you waiting for a reply from that ‘Elicchi’?” Nico winked as she attempted to imitate the tone of voice Nozomi used to refer to her girlfriend.

 Nozomi giggled. “Oh, Nicocchi, you’ll get it once you get a girlfriend yourself.”

* * *

 When Alisa got home from school, she heard her sister speaking Russian in her room, something she had not heard for a long time since they lived in Japan. She peered across the ajar room door, and saw that Eli was speaking on the phone to what seemed like their grandmother.

 “...okay, yes I know he’s a nice guy...”

 “...mm hmm, yes I know….yes….about Dad...yes”

 Once Eli put down the phone, Alisa entered the room.

 “Was that Grandmother?”

 “Yeah,” Eli replied, forcing out a smile.

 “What did she talk to you about?”

 “The usual - we mostly talked about me, and she told me a bit about her life, as well as things pertaining to us going back.”

 Alisa sat herself on Eli’s bed. “Onee-chan, are you upset about going back to Russia?”

 Eli feigned a laugh. “What makes you think I’m upset? Well, if all of you are going back and Dad even has a position in his company for me to take, how am I supposed to say ‘no’?”

 Alisa shrugged. “I don’t know...ever since you found out that we were going back, you seemed to be out of your element.”

 “Really? Maybe it’s because I thought I was going to join the bar in Japan and suddenly I’m not, and that really threw me off.”

 “I see,” Alisa nodded and hopped off the bed. “I shall not bother you then, I have revision to do.”

 As soon as Alisa left the room, Eli plonked herself onto her bed while still holding on to her phone, feeling terrible once more. While absentmindedly looking through her messages, she realised she had yet to reply Nozomi, and it was already late afternoon.

**_“That’s great, congrats.”_ **

* * *

 Eli finally came back from her short trip to her hometown, and soon met up with Nozomi, whom she had missed dearly. The both of them opted to chill at Nozomi’s apartment over a couple of drinks. They were slumped on the couch leaning against each other, enjoying Tchaikovsky’s ‘Swan Lake’ playing in the background.

 Eli was looking through her phone in full view of Nozomi, deleting messages and pictures she did not want to keep. Unknowingly, Eli stumbled across a message and picture of  _ him _ , and momentarily panicked as she quickly tried to scroll past it.

 “Hey, who’s that guy?” Despite Eli’s attempt to cover up, Nozomi’s sharp eyes noticed the picture. “He’s very handsome I must say.”

 “He’s um...Alexander...a childhood friend from Russia.” Eli mumbled.

 “Really? How was your relationship like back then?” Nozomi was genuinely curious.

 “He was the son of my dad’s friend and business partner, so we saw each other relatively often back then. He was already quite good-looking even as a child, and I actually had a bit of a crush on him as a young girl.” Eli blushed a little as she recounted her childhood memories.

 “Oh…”

 “What’s with that expression, Nozomi?” Eli giggled as she gently caressed Nozomi’s face. “Are you jealous? Ha, don’t be silly, I got over him a long time ago. I only have eyes for you now.”

 “Of course I know that,” Nozomi replied teasingly and pecked Eli on the lips.

 Nozomi, however, was still worried. She was not worried about Eli straying from her, but instead she had one of those strong premonitions - a premonition that Eli was bottling up something. How Eli took more than half a day to reply her message about her promotion, the detached tone she had when she finally replied, how she seemed to be sullen and sometimes jumpy ever since she came back - all these seemed amiss to Nozomi.

 For now, Nozomi could not pinpoint what was the issue, but all she could do was to pray harder and more fervently whenever she was helping out at the shrine for Eli to be fine.


	15. Chapter 15

 As soon as Eli’s holidays ended, she began seeing Nozomi less often. It was understandable - Eli was getting busy with her final examinations before graduating, while Nozomi was caught up with taking over the reins of LOVE GURU from her boss.

 However, Nozomi noticed that Eli seemed to be keeping away from her lately, and she could not understand why. She would cook up excuses to turn down even simple dates like grabbing parfaits or having a meal after work, often saying that she had to work on papers or consult her professor. Nozomi knew that Eli was a hardworking and driven individual, but amidst her packed schedule, she would usually still make time to meet up with Nozomi.

 Furthermore, this deliberate avoidance seemed to extend to their text messages as well. Usually, Eli’s replies were prompt and candid, sometimes becoming lengthy when she was particularly enthusiastic about a certain subject matter (usually books). But ever since her short holiday, her messages to Nozomi were brief and clipped, sometimes taking ages for her to reply, especially when it came to personal questions. 

 Nozomi was utterly confused, wondering if she had offended Eli again in anyway, but her gut feeling told her that the issue was not with herself, but Eli instead. Eli was hiding something.

* * *

 In the case of Eli, ever since school started, she resolved to bury herself in her studies and work, trying to block out the negative emotions from her head. She initially considered looking to Nozomi for comfort at first, but she realised that the more she thought about Nozomi, the more she was reminded about how she was going to leave her in a few month’s time, and that made her feel worse.

 In the end, she reasoned that avoiding Nozomi was the best for the both of them - Eli would not be plagued with feelings of sadness and loss as much, and Nozomi would grow less attached to her, making it less painful for them when Eli eventually has to leave.

 So Eli physically and emotionally distanced herself from Nozomi, numbing herself with her gruelling studies and seeking emotional solace in books once again. Back when she used to be a lonely girl with few to no friends, she would delve into the fictional world, filling the recesses of her mind with tales of adventure, drama and friendship. Perhaps Nozomi did so too, Eli mulled. She also did not have many friends as a child because she moved around so much, and she occupied herself with the fictional world as well. And how amazing it was that these two girls who loved books met each because of their shared passion, eventually falling in love with each other.

 Eli caught herself thinking about Nozomi again, and chided herself for doing so.

* * *

 One weekend, Nozomi and Eli met at the local shrine, where Eli was offering prayers and Nozomi was helping out as usual. It was not an arranged meeting, but it was not exactly by chance as well, since Eli knew Nozomi would be at the shrine at that hour on that day of the week.

 “You’ve been busy lately?” Nozomi asked Eli while sweeping the leaves to one corner.

 “Yeah, final exams are coming.”

 “So after finishing your course, you’ll be preparing for the national bar exams?”

 Eli was momentarily tongue-tied. “Um...I...uh...m-maybe.”

 Nozomi gave a vaguely suspicious look and said nothing, the soft scratching of the broom’s bristles filling the silence between them.

 “Elicchi, have you been you avoiding me lately?” Nozomi looked up from her sweeping and stared directly at Eli.

 Once again, Eli found herself at a loss for words.

 “I’m...ah...I’m not.”

 “If you’re having any problems, you can tell me, really,” Nozomi said reassuringly. “We’ve been through so much together, there’s nothing you need to hide from me.”

 Eli bit her lip as she sensed the foundation of her emotional walls start to shake. Nozomi had a way with her words that allowed the stoic Eli to bare her feelings.

 “It’s...none of your business.”

 Upon saying that, Eli turned to leave the shrine, mumbling something about hurrying back to study. Nozomi did not reply, nor did she follow her.

 As soon as she descended the steps leading to the shrine, Eli let the walls crumble and hot tears streamed down her face.

* * *

 While doing their revision in their room that night, Umi turned around from her table to look at her roommate, who was hunched over her own desk reading her notes, looking very gloomy, just as she was for the past few days. Umi sighed and went to the snack cupboard to pull out a packet of chocolate bamboo shoot biscuits.

 Umi opened the packet and offered it to Eli.

 “You’ve been looking very down recently,” Umi quipped.

 “I’m fine,” Eli replied as she grabbed a couple of biscuits.

 “Have you told Nozomi-san that you’re going back to Russia with your family after you graduate?” Umi asked. Eli had already told Umi the news, since she needed to give her advance notice if she wanted to find a new roommate.

 Eli shrugged.

 “Eli,” Umi’s tone was firm. “You can’t hide this from her for too long, she has to find out at some point in time. Don’t be too worried about Nozomi-san, if you explain it to her carefully, she will eventually be able to take the news.”

 Eli shook her head and sighed. “Umi, it’s not that simple. There’s actually more to it that I didn’t tell you about.”

 She was afraid. She knew she could not run away from this forever, yet she was terrified of telling Nozomi about it.


	16. Chapter 16

_  Eli was 10 years old, and she was attending one of her father’s formal parties along with her entire family. While Alisa ran around playing with the other kids, Eli was sitting on one of the couches reading a book, and next to her on the other end of the couch was Alexander, who was quietly reading as well. _

_  Just then, a few of the aunts came by. “Eli and Alexander look so adorable together, don’t they?” One of them said. _

_  “Yes,” another one continued, “Perhaps they may even get married one day!” _

_  “N-no way!” Eli spoke, feigning aversion to that idea, but deep inside she secretly relished at that notion, having fantasized doing so for some time. _

_  “Why not?” Alexander quipped half-jokingly. “Elichika is a nice girl.” _

 How ironic that this was going actually going to happen 14 years later.

* * *

 Eli checked her unread messages on LINE, and sighed when she saw that one of them was from Alexander.

**_“How are things going, Elichika? I’m looking forward to dancing with you again once you come back.”_ **

 Eli stared blankly at the message. 10-year-old Eli would have been charmed off her socks if he had said that to her back then, but right now Eli felt nothing but annoyance and disgust.

**_“I stopped dancing for many years already. Also, I would really appreciate it if you could stop using the nickname my grandmother gave me.”_ ** Eli quickly sent her reply, as if prolonging the time spent conversing with him was physically torturous to her.

 Again, it was not as if Eli was forced into this matchmaking, yet she felt obliged to comply. Her whole family and extended family - especially her grandmother - were extremely supportive of this match, and she could not bring herself to say ‘no’. 

 “Alexander comes from a very well-to-do family, and he has very good character traits as well. Furthermore, if both of you get together, business ties between your father and his father will be strengthened!” Her grandmother persuaded her continuously whenever she talked to her over the phone. Remembering how her grandmother always pampered her and gave in to her whims and fancies, Eli was somehow compelled to give in to her this round, even if it could possibly impact the rest of her life.

 She wondered how she was going to muster up all that courage to tell this to Nozomi.

* * *

 Eli asked Nozomi if she could meet her after work one night, and Nozomi agreed. So on that night, Eli dropped by Nozomi’s house, where they shared a couple of beers and juices and reheated food straight from Nozomi’s fridge.

 “Elicchi, let’s get to the point. You’re hiding something from me.” After downing a can of beer or two, Nozomi finally mustered the courage to bring up the issue that had been gnawing on her mind for the longest time.

 Eli tightened her grip on her glass of orange juice. Since she had bothered to come all the way to Nozomi’s and had already set her mind on breaking the news to her, she had no reason to hesitate further.

 “Nozomi, there is something important I need to let you know. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding this from you for such a long time, but I really could not bring myself to tell you this all this while.”

 “...what is it?”

 Eli licked her dry lips. “After I graduate from law school, I’m going back to Russia with my family for good.”

 The colour drained from Nozomi’s face. 

 “Are...you…?”

 “I’ve also been matchmade with my childhood friend, Alexander.”

 There was silence in the small apartment as Eli’s words started to sink into Nozomi.

 “You’re not serious...are you?” Nozomi’s voice was dry and wavering.

 “I’m serious. I’m in the midst of making arrangements for the return trip.” Eli tried her best to stifle her tears and prevent her voice from cracking, but with every word she said, it became increasingly harder to do so.

 “Tell me, Elicchi, that this was not what you wanted!” Nozomi’s words came out in painful sobs, as she grasped Eli’s hands.

 “My family has already made their plans to settle down in Russia, and my father has already found a job for me in his business...so...I don’t have much of a choice.”

 “And what about that Alexander?”

 “He’s the son of my father’s important business partner, and all my relatives, especially my grandmother, approve of us getting together-”

 “But that’s not what  **_you_ ** want, right, Elicchi?” Nozomi shouted, tears rolling down her cheeks.

 Eli completely lost it and broke down.

 “But...but I have to, Nozomi, I cannot just go against the wishes of my family…”

 “Your family, your goddamn family! That’s the problem with you, Elicchi. You care too much about what the others want and never think about what  **_you_ ** want! This is  _ your _ life,  _ your _ future, Elicchi, don’t flippin’ care about what your family thinks!” Nozomi got up from the dining table, visibly agitated.

 Eli too stood up from her seat. “Yeah, ‘don’t care what my family thinks, make my own decisions’, I could do that if it was that easy. But I actually care about maintaining a healthy, close relationship with my family, unlike  **_someone_ ** here!”

 Immediately, Eli clapped a hand over her mouth as she saw Nozomi wince. This was the first time Eli ever raised her voice at Nozomi, and not only that - she hit a raw nerve as well.

 “I-I’m sorry Nozomi, I didn’t mean to bring that up…” Eli approached Nozomi and touched her arm apologetically, her eyes welling up with tears again.

 Nozomi turned her face away from Eli and said nothing, her shoulders shaking from her silent sobs.

 “...I’m sorry…”

 Eventually, Nozomi looked up, her eyes swollen and puffy from crying.

 “Sorry, I got too carried away as well. So...when are you leaving?”

 “In exactly two months time, a week after I finish my final exams.”

 Nozomi rubbed her red nose and sniffed. “I look like a mess right now...but okay, if it’s your decision, I will accept it.”

 Eli forced out a smile, and walked over to get her things. “I guess I’ll make a move now, it’s late and we’re both tired.”

 Nozomi walked her to the door, and Eli went out and slipped on her shoes.

 Before she left, Eli turned around.

 “Please try to forget me.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos!! I really appreciate it :)

 After that unfortunate night with Nozomi, Eli tried burying all her negative thoughts and painful memories by cramming for her examinations harder than ever. It helped that she only had one month left to study and work on her final thesis, and had to step up her workload anyway.

 “Don’t push yourself too hard, Eli. Make sure to get enough rest and eat proper meals,” Umi reminded her as she saw her hunched over a law textbook, with a can of energy drink and a bowl of instant noodles next to her.

 “You’re not a final year law student, you won’t understand the intensity of our workload,” Eli mumbled as she scribbled some words in her notebook.

 “I know law is a gruelling programme and you all have to work very hard, but the way you’re studying seems like you’re trying to lose yourself and forget something,” Umi commented, and prepared to climb into bed to get some sleep.

 Eli stopped and put her pen down. Her thoughts went back to the last thing she said that night.  _ “Please try to forget me.” _

 Ever since she had come back from her holiday, that was what she had been subconsciously trying to do herself, slowly detaching herself from her feelings for Nozomi, so that when she leaves, the pain of separation would not cut as deep.

 But that night was the first time she had vocalised that thought, and had even imposed it on Nozomi.

 Could Nozomi bring herself to forget Eli? Nozomi, whom Eli always felt that her thoughts were an enigma, but when Eli had really gotten to know her, realised that she was an emotional person who yearned to have an intimate relationship with the person she cared for.

 And that person was Eli.

* * *

 Ever since that night, neither Eli nor Nozomi made a conscious effort to ask the other out, but Nozomi always created opportunities for them to meet. Eli did not work at the library as often because of her exams, but whenever she did, Nozomi would scour the library to find her. If Eli had counter duty, Nozomi would drop by the counter to have a chat; if Eli was shelving books, Nozomi would hang around the shelves, browsing the books around; if Eli was chasing down children that were making a din in the library, Nozomi would stay nearby and offer her some words of encouragement after the saga. It was as if Nozomi paid no heed to what Eli told her to do.

 And if they did not meet, Nozomi would regularly send messages to Eli on LINE. They were usually about casual, frivolous things, like what Nozomi had for lunch, or shenanigans at LOVE GURU with Nico, or about Nico finally finding a girlfriend and gloating to her about it. Never once did Nozomi allude to Eli’s upcoming departure, as if it never happened.

* * *

 “You haven’t been meeting up with Nozomi-san lately,” Umi quipped.

 “I’m trying to forget her.”

 “Okay, Eli. I’m no expert in relationships here, but I don’t think trying to forget her is the best way to cope with this. Instead, you should be making use of the remaining time you have and spend as much time as you can with her.”

 “I could if I wanted to, but I can’t.” Eli buried her head under her pillow.

 Umi sighed.  _ “You’re more hopeless than me.” _

* * *

 It was Friday evening, and Eli was planning on having a quick dinner at the canteen before spending the rest of the night cramming again.

 “Eli, I’m going to ‘Homura’ to have some desserts with Honoka and Kotori after dinner. Care to join us?” Umi asked.

 “No thanks, I have to stu-”

 “Just this once, Eli. You’re human, not a machine. You need a break.”

 “Fine,” Eli conceded. “But I won’t stay too long.”

* * *

 After dinner, Eli got onto the bus with Umi, followed by the train. They were travelling along when Eli suddenly noticed something was amiss.

 “Umi, we’re not going to ‘Homura’. We’re heading towards Kabukicho!”

 Umi smiled and said nothing.

 “What are you up to Umi? You lied to me? I thought you could be trusted, Umi!” Eli was tugging at Umi’s sleeve.

 “You’ll find out when we get there.”

 When the train reached their station, Umi dragged Eli out of the train and onto the platform. Then she looked around until she spotted the familiar purple twintails nearby.

 “Nozomi-san,” Umi called out, “she’s all yours. I’ll make a move now, bye!”

 As soon as she said that, Umi turned around and headed to the platform for the returning train.

 “Thank you, Umi-san!” Nozomi replied as she hooked her arm around Eli’s.

 “You...colluded with Umi?” Eli was in disbelief as Nozomi led her on, towards a small park near the station.

* * *

 Nozomi and Eli sat on a bench next to each other, not exchanging a word for the longest time.

 “So...why did you ask me out?” Eli finally asked.

 “Three more weeks till you’re leaving Japan, and we haven’t gone on a date for so long,” Nozomi replied, placing her hands behind her head.

 “I told you to try to forget me!” Eli emphasised as she turned to look at Nozomi.

 Nozomi sighed. “Why should I?”

 Eli’s voice faltered. “So that...when I finally leave...it won’t hurt as much.”

 Nozomi pulled Eli close to her, and before Eli knew it, they were caught in a deep kiss. It was not those chaste, brief pecks that Eli would give Nozomi after a date, or a short, quick kiss Nozomi would sneak at Eli while riding on the train when nobody was looking. It was a kiss that sent sparks down Eli’s spine as she felt Nozomi’s tongue explore the inside of her mouth, while Eli dug her fingers into the fabric of Nozomi’s woolen jacket as they pulled their bodies close to each other in a tight embrace.

 “I don’t want to forget you, Elicchi, even if it breaks my heart on the day you leave. I want to remember every moment spent with you, from the day we first met to the day we last see each other, including the awkward day when I brought you to my adult shop.”

 Eli’s lips started to quiver.

 “Even though you’re going back back to Russia to be with another man, I will never forget our relationship. I will never forget how important you are to me - the person I love and care for the most.”

 That was when Eli lost it. Tears started to roll down Eli’s cheeks, and she buried her face against Nozomi’s shoulder and wailed uncontrollably. 

 How could she think of such a stupid thing? Trying to forget about Nozomi in a bid to numb the pain, when it only brought her more pain instead? Why didn’t she think about Nozomi’s feelings as well? Nozomi, who loved Eli as much as Eli loved her; Nozomi, with her estranged relationship with her parents, relied solely on her relationship with Eli as her emotional solace; Nozomi, who would much rather keep her memories of their relationship forever than to forget it ever happened.

 “I’m so sorry, Nozomi...I’m so sorry...I’m sorry...Nozomi...I…”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for all your comments and kudos! It really motivates me whenever I get them :)  
> Just a heads-up - the next chapter (chapter 19) will be predominantly smut, which is why I jacked up the rating from T to M. Also another disclaimer - the build-up to the smut in the later half of this chapter and the smut scene itself was written with the help of my friend [kageryu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kageryu), with some input by [predictably_unpredictable](http://archiveofourown.org/users/predictably_unpredictable), so you might notice some inevitable changes in style. A big thank you to them for helping me with it though!

 The final week before Eli’s exams was crazy, as Eli rushed to cram as much as she could before facing the daunting papers, which lasted for about a week and a half. Those two and a half weeks were incredibly busy for Eli, and she did not have much time to think too much about the other things happening around her. Her parents and Alisa had already booked tickets and flew off to Russia some time in the middle of her exams, and she was to join them two weeks later.

 Eli did not talk to Nozomi very much for those two and a half weeks, let alone meet with her. Graduating from the programme with first class honours was more important to her, and Nozomi respected it.

 At the same time, Nozomi was busy herself, taking over the current LOVE GURU with Nico as Matsuzaka oversaw the opening of a bigger, newer outlet. There were a lot of accounts to do and technical aspects to pick up, and with Nico being sort of a ditz, Nozomi had a lot on her plate for the past month or so.

* * *

 “So Eli-san...she’s really leaving?” Nico asked Nozomi one day while Nozomi was going through the spreadsheets on the computer.

 “Yeah, if I’m not wrong, her last exam is tomorrow, then she will be staying for three more days before flying off.”

 “Are you really okay with it?”

 “What?” Nozomi looked up from the computer.

 “You don’t want her to go right? Have you tried telling her to stay for your sake?” Nico had her arms on her hips and she looked dead serious.

 Nozomi shook her head in resignation. “That bitch is more stubborn than old grease stains, there’s no way she’ll change her mind at this point.”

 Nico grabbed her by the shoulders. “You mentioned she’s doing it because of her family, and not on her own accord right? That means there’s hope! As long as she is still here, you have a chance!”

 Nozomi sighed.

 “Just do it, Nozomi! Even if you can’t convince her, just meet up with her for the last time at the very least. Nico will give you her ‘nico-nico-nii’ best wishes!” Nico started to slip into her idol persona again.

 “Well, okay,” Nozomi responded and pulled out her handphone.

* * *

  **_“Are you free tomorrow night? I have a carton of beer at home, you can come over for some drinks if you want.”_ ** Nozomi typed out and hit the ‘send’ button.

  **_“Sure.”_ ** Eli’s reply was surprisingly quick.

* * *

 At around 9.30 pm, Nozomi’s doorbell rang. It was Eli.

 “You’re early,” Nozomi commented.

 Eli shrugged, forcing out a smile.

 Nozomi went to the fridge and cracked open two cans of beer. “I know you don’t drink much, so there’s juice if you want.”

“It’s alright, beer will do.” Eli’s voice was low and quiet, which was uncharacteristic of her.

 Nozomi passed the can to Eli and she immediately took a huge gulp, allowing her eyes to water as the carbonated gas in the beer stung the back of her throat.

 Eli seldom drank alcohol, partly because she had been inculcated with the idea that getting intoxicated was not morally upright, and partly because she did not particularly like the taste of alcohol. However, that night, it did not really matter to her if the beer tasted terrible or she could possibly get drunk - she just wanted to forget everything ahead of her for that night.

 Eli’s stomach rumbled softly. When was the last time she ate? She did recall eating dinner, but how did it digest so fast? _Right_ , she remembered, her dinner was merely a cold sandwich from the dorm’s cafeteria that she grabbed at 5.30 pm.

 Before she knew it, Nozomi had downed her first can of beer and was opening her second.

 “So...next week...would you like me to send you off at the airport?”

 Eli shrugged and took another swig. “Up to you.”

  _“What if I stopped you from going?”_ Those words were at the tip of Nozomi’s tongue, yet they were caught in her throat, as if they were stuck in treacle.

 No, there was no way Nozomi could bring herself to say those words right now, not in a sober state like this. A little bit more alcohol would give her the guts to speak her mind to Eli, to persuade her to accede to her selfish request.

 Nozomi carried the carton containing the rest of the beers to the bedroom, where it was more comfortable for them to drink and talk, and Eli followed suit. Nozomi plopped herself on the bed and continued emptying the contents of the can, while Eli reached for another can from the floor.

 “I think I can send you off, I should be free…” Nozomi trailed off.

 “Shhh,” Eli leaned in and placed a finger on Nozomi’s lip. “Tonight, there shall be no more talk about me leaving, okay?”

* * *

 "Ah! That hit the spot~" Eli cooed as she collapsed on Nozomi's bed, dumping a final can of beer onto the floor. The sheets puffed up around her as the bed creaked, dipping to bear the additional load.

 The room stank of distilled ethanol and burnt barley, evidence of the pairs' drinking, along with the empty cans of beer strewn on the floor. Their breaths smelt even more strongly, every breath releasing an intense whiff of alcohol.

Nozomi sighed softly as she surveyed the mess of crumpled cans. She’d have to pick them up before they started to smell.

 "The beer was that good huh..." she murmured, a soft sound that barely escaped her lips, her eyes glazing over as she gazed at Eli, struggling to think. Her mind was clouded by the haze of alcohol and it was starting to get hard to form coherent sentences, even in her head.

 “Yeah,” Eli’s voice came again, “It was really delicious. Probably the best beer I’ve ever had.”

 “Mmhmm,” Nozomi responded, sitting down softly next to Eli who was sprawled on her bed.

 What was she supposed to be doing again?

 Oh yeah, she was supposed to be getting rid of the cans. How could she have forgotten.

 She hoisted herself off the bed, bending down to pick up a can or two. However, before she could finish, she felt a warm hand wrap around her arm.

 "Nozomi-chan…" Eli whispered as Nozomi turned around. She was sitting up on the bed, grasping Nozomi's arm so tightly as if she was afraid that Nozomi would disappear into thin air if she let go. Gone was her serious, dependable persona - the face she showed to all around her, the mask built upon the expectations put upon her, a part of her that she swore to uphold. All of them were now shadowed by her true personality, a personality Nozomi (and no other) had ever seen before.

 “Nozomi-chan,” Eli breathed, “You’re not leaving? Are you?”

 Nozomi’s brow furrowed, raising her eyes to Eli’s, “No, no I’m not. I’m just getting rid of the cans.”

 She bent down again, scooping up a can as Eli tightened her grip on her arm, forcing Nozomi to meet her gaze.

 “We can clear the rubbish in the morning,” Eli answered, slightly petulantly, “But for now… I just…”

 She paused, her voice cracking with the weight of words unsaid. Nozomi raised a hand to Eli’s, squeezing it reassuringly as Eli took in a deep breath.

 “I just... don’t want to be alone,” she managed, her words taking Nozomi by surprise. Never once had Eli requested her presence in such an outright way. “Is it okay if you come… closer?”

Nozomi raised her eyes to Eli’s, smiling softly as she raised her arms, wrapping them around Eli’s torso. Warmth welled up in Nozomi's chest at the connection of their bodies, unexplainable by thought, but logical by emotion. It wasn't just the body warmth shared between the two on such a cold winter's night. But more the whispering of the soul - voiceless, still, yet commanded power and assertiveness in their own right.

**_They conveyed "It's warm"._ **

 “Is this okay?” she whispered into Eli’s hair.

 “Yes… yes it is,” Eli replied as she turned her head, her eyes falling closed as she leaned in, meeting Nozomi’s lips in a gentle kiss.

 Nozomi raised a hand to cup Eli’s cheek, shifting their faces slightly so that they slotted together perfectly. It was enough for now, it truly was, just to hold Eli in her arms, clutching her tightly as she worried Eli’s bottom lip with her own.

 Because Eli would be leaving soon, leaving her forever, and Nozomi would have to take what she could get.

 And she planned to relish every single moment of it.


	19. Chapter 19

 “Nozomi…” Eli moaned when they parted, her lips reddened from Nozomi’s kisses.

 “Please let me stay like this for a while Elicchi…” Nozomi whispered in a deep, coarse, yet gentle voice. 

 She rested her chin on Eli's collarbone, burying her face in her neck as she spoke. Nozomi's throat vibrated with each word, meaning every single one of them as she slowly wrapped her arms around Eli's torso.

 Eli felt the raspy words up against her chest, each quiver of Nozomi's throat sending ripples of electric shocks down her body. Nozomi tightened her arms around Eli’s torso, tightening the bind ever so gently, squeezing their well-endowed bosoms together. 

_  More…! More…! _ Nozomi thought as she continued to tighten her embrace, wringing out every ounce of comfort from their increasing body contact. For all she knew, this would be the last time she would be able to feel so loved.

 Eli gasped for breath in Nozomi’s arms as she felt the fumbling of buttons on her button up blouse, and as the buttons came undone, she could feel cool air brushing against her skin. The warmth in contrast to the chill of the winter air sent shivers down her spine, and goosebumps erupted in waves along her arms as Nozomi continued to divest her of her pants and underwear.

 Her chest, originally protected from the cold by her top, now tightened in response to the temperature. Her nipples hardened even more, peaking through even the padding of her bra. 

 Eli had not worn some provocative bra, but rather a very simple and plain one that was maybe a tad bit small. Regardless of the matter, Eli could sense Nozomi’s hungry gaze on her erect nipples, a gaze which almost felt as if Nozomi were dying to have a taste of them.

 Eli melted into Nozomi’s arms, muscles relaxed, releasing the pent up tension in her body as Nozomi unhooked her bra, gently teasing it off of her arms.

 Eli looked up in response. They were both fully naked now, fully exposed to each other and she yearned to lock their gazes together, to let Nozomi know that she wanted her just as much as she thought Nozomi did. However, as she opened her eyes to look into Nozomi’s, she knew, the hungry gaze was real, yet, it once again lacked the fiery passion she had foreseen. Instead, she saw the clouded eyes of a starving predator hesitating to eat the meal before them.

 “Nozomi?”

 And it was then that she felt a large jerk, a push on both her collarbones that jerked her a foot away.  

_  Rejection. _

__ The push itself was not painful, but a deep welt of hurt grew in Eli’s chest. Nozomi had looked liked she’d wanted to be close, yet she’d pushed Eli away just moments later. 

 “I’m sorry Elicchi… We shouldn’t…” Nozomi sputtered, her head facing down on the sheets, her bangs covering her eyes as she began to shift away from Eli, raising herself off the bed.

 “Nozo…” Pain welled up in Eli’s eyes, feeling nothing but rejection from Nozomi as she gazed up at her. She stared into Nozomi’s eyes, as if shooting lasers to reignite the smothered embers of Nozomi’s determination.

 “I don’t understand! What is wrong with-” But before she could finish, Eli’s thoughts were interrupted by a wet feeling on her cheeks. Droplets of water fell onto her cheeks, slowly rolling down the side of her face. Looking upwards, searching for the source of the water, she glanced at Nozomi’s face directly above her. 

 Tears dripped down Nozomi’s face, a face contorted with pain - a burning agony that she held bottled up, slowly scorching her from the inside, a pain she yearned to release herself from. As if the seal was broken, her emotions erupted out of their containment, expressed through the tears pouring out of her eyes. 

 She desperately wanted to express to Eli how much she did not want her to leave, how much she feared the loneliness, how much she desperately wanted her and yet… Was it the right thing to do?

 “Forgive me Elicchi. Forgive me.” Nozomi whispered into Eli’s ear, her voice crisp, yet hoarse, a voice torn between decisiveness and despair.

 “It’s alright,” Eli whispered softly, lifting a hand to Nozomi’s cheek. “It’s alright.”

 Nozomi lowered her body, her hand moving across Eli’s chest.

 “I’m sorry… We can’t,” Nozomi breathed, burying her head in Eli’s neck. They were both half-drunk, Eli was going to be leaving… neither of them had the capacity to think straigh-

 “Is this really what you want?”

 Nozomi lifted her head at the sound of Eli’s voice, raising her eyes to meet steel, hard, serious ones.

 “What?”

 “Is this what you want?” Eli said again, louder and more determined this time. “If it isn’t, then tell me now.”

 Nozomi’s eyes raked down Eli’s body, from her flushed cheeks to her reddened nipples and down to the blond thatch of hair below. It was so tantalising, having Eli right here, right now with her, all spread out on the bed… so easy to take. And yet…

 “Eli, we’re drunk, you’re not thinking straight,” Nozomi whispered again, “What if you wake up in the morning and find out this isn’t really what you wanted? What i-”

 “Nozomi…” Eli’s voice came again. “There’s nothing I could have wanted more than this... So let me ask again, is this really what you want?”

 Nozomi raised a hand to Eli’s face, caressing her cheek softly.

 She thought about Eli’s musical laughter, about the carefree smiles that Eli shot her when she thought no one was looking, about the sincere look she’d given her when she’d apologised for alienating her due to her job.

 She loved and adored Eli, heart and soul. It was plain to see that she was irrevocably Eli’s, all of her. But this? This was Eli offering up herself to her. The Eli who was terrified of emotion, the Eli who had put walls up to prevent anyone from coming through and yet… she was allowing Nozomi to make her permanently hers.

 How could she reject such a gift?

 “Yes,” Nozomi breathed, her gaze locking with Eli’s, “Yes, it is.”

 Eli smiled up at her, her eyes shining as she raised another hand to cup the other side of Nozomi’s face.

 “Then don’t hold back.”

 Nozomi groaned, a deep guttural sound that emanated from the back of her throat as she lifted her hands to the base of Eli’s neck, her fingertips tracing the collarbone downwards till they rested on Eli’s well-endowed breasts. 

 Nozomi lifted her lips back to Eli’s, their mouths connecting in a bruising kiss. Nozomi sucked hard on Eli’s bottom lip, pinching the skin there gently with her teeth before pulling off with a loud “plop”, giving both of them some time to gasp for air before she lowered her lips to Eli’s once again.

 Eli moaned into Nozomi’s mouth at the contact, reaching around Nozomi to grasp the nape of her neck, pulling them even closer. Nozomi licked at the seam of Eli’s lips in response, Eli groaning once again as Nozomi took the opportunity to slip a tongue through the opening, stroking the roof of Eli’s mouth roughly.

 Eli cried out at the sensation, wrapping her arms around Nozomi’s back as she lifted her tongue to meet Nozomi’s, gently licking at the base of the muscle as Nozomi groaned in response, lifting her hands to caress Eli’s cheeks.

 “You taste so good,” she whispered as she pulled off with a wet squelch. Nozomi lifted her lips to Eli’s neck, latching onto the skin there as Eli whimpered. It would be there that Nozomi would leave her mark, a mark that would tell the world that Eli was her property.

 Eli could feel the Nozomi’s weight pressing against her, pressing yet comforting.  She could feel Nozomi’s every touch, every caress sending shivers down her spine. She could feel the tightening of her areolae, the hardening of her nipples - a sign she took that she was getting into it. Eli finally understood, from the very depths of her heart, what it meant for Nozomi to love her. 

 Even though the mild pain on her neck stung, she took it a symbol of Nozomi’s love for her, even if only reflecting possession. She wanted more, more of this high, more of this...feeling… The feeling of being wanted. All she wanted to do was to let herself drown in this unknown pleasure, to give in and let the real action ensue.

 She lifted a hand, trailing it down Nozomi’s side till she reached the vee of her legs. She slipped a finger through Nozomi’s parted thighs, feeling Nozomi shudder above her as she dragged a finger across her perineum.

 However, Nozomi seemed to freeze after a moment, her arms growing stiff so Eli stretched out her arms, wrapping them ever so gently around Nozomi’s frigidly still neck. It loosened upon Eli’s touch, almost as if her frozen bones had melted before Eli’s blazing vehemence. 

 As Eli pulled Nozomi’s collapsing body towards her, their faces drew close. 

 “Elicchi… is this really okay with you?” Nozomi breathed, a tinge of apprehension in her voice. The Eli she initially knew was conservative, chaste and guarded, but the Eli she was embracing now was the complete opposite… Did she really want this? Or were her decision making skills just dulled due to the alcohol in her system?

 “Do you really need me to spell it out for you?” Eli’s voice came again, lifting her lips to Nozomi’s ear.

 A soft flow of warm air grazed the shell of Nozomi’s ear, an odd feeling that sent shivers down her spine. And with it, the accompaniment of Eli’s teasing purr: 

**“I am all yours, Nozomi.”**

 And that was all she needed to hear.

* * *

 On the otherwise slightly cramp single bed, Nozomi and Eli lay under the duvet, the warmth from each other sufficient despite the fact that it was a chilly winter night. The rising and falling of Nozomi’s chest as Eli leaned upon her and her comforting scent made Eli feel content and at ease, and she slowly found herself drifting off to sleep.

 “Hey Elicchi,” Nozomi whispered, running her fingers through Eli’s blonde locks. “Forgive me for being selfish, but can I request something?”

 “What is it?” Eli drew her face close to Nozomi.

 Nozomi blinked as tears welled up in her eyes once more. “Please...for my sake...can you stay…?” All those feelings of longing and reluctance to leave Eli she had expressed just now - Nozomi finally encapsulated them in a simple but painful plea.

 Eli felt Nozomi’s grip around her tighten again, as if getting physically close to her as much as possible could prevent them from being separated forever.

 In the heat of the moment, combined with with the lingering effects of alcohol, a surge of emotions washed through Eli - similar feelings of yearning for Nozomi, and a burning desire to stay with her like this as long as she wanted.

 “Nozomi...” Eli choked, hot tears flowing down her cheeks before she knew it, “Truth be told, I really really really do not want to go back.”

 “Elicchi?” Nozomi managed, her lips quivering as she futilely suppressed the cocktail of emotions filling her.

 “I don’t give a shit about Alexander and my dad’s business and my life in Russia!” Eli exclaimed hoarsely. “I want to stay with you, Nozomi!” 

**_Finally, three days before her departure, Eli had said it outright._ **

 “Elicchi…” Nozomi sobbed and buried her face against Eli’s, repeating her name again and again as if it were a mantra. She was vaguely conscious of that she was smothering her tears and snot onto Eli’s chest, but it didn’t seem to matter to Eli at all.

 It was going to be a long night indeed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost coming to the end of the story! :OO  
> As always, thank you for the nice comments and kudos, and thank you for following this story!

 Eli woke up the next morning to find herself in Nozomi’s bed with a splitting headache. Her memory of last night’s events were fuzzy as her mind was still clouded with the aftereffects of excessive alcohol consumption, but she could vaguely remember moments of intimacy and passion as she and Nozomi made love on the exact same bed she was sitting on.

 Gingerly, Eli eased herself off the bed and shuffled to the bathroom, steadying herself with the walls and furniture around her. As she went to the wash basin to freshen up, she noticed her matted blonde hair, bloodshot eyes and a faint red mark on the left of her neck. Eli gently rubbed the mark, her fingers lingering on her neck a little longer as the emotions from the night before started to flood back into her mind again.

 But Eli had no time to waste - she had to wash up and return to her dormitory as soon as possible to pack for her return trip to Russia.

* * *

 “Morning, Eli! Breakfast is ready!”

 As Eli stepped out of the bathroom, she noticed Nozomi setting the dining table, laying out plates and toast and juices.

 “Nozomi...I…”

 “Why are you hesitating? come and sit down!” Nozomi ushered Eli towards the dining table and sat her down.

 “Nozomi...sorry for imposing on you last night...and for all that had happened as well…” Eli muttered, staring at a piece of lightly browned toast on the plate in front of her.

 Nozomi chuckled and reached for the butter. “Don’t be like that, Elicchi. Come on, tuck in!”

 “Okay, if you say so,” Eli sighed, and took a nibble of her toast.

 The both of them ate in silence for a while, as if waiting for each other to utter the first word about their drunken, emotional exchange the night before.

 “Um,” Nozomi spoke with a dry voice. “So about next week…”

 “The cab will be arriving at the dorm at 10 am, so you can come a bit earlier and we’ll leave for the airport together,” Eli replied unflinchingly, her eyes fixated on her toast.

 “Oh. Okay.”

 Nozomi felt a lump form in her throat as that little glimmer of hope was instantly extinguished by Eli’s icy words. To think she woke up feeling that Eli was going to change her mind as well.

 “I’m really thirsty, I don’t think I’ll ever drink this much again,” Eli quipped as she downed another glass of apple juice.

 “Hey Eli,” Nozomi tried her luck for the last time. “Did you remember what you said to me last night?”

 “We talked about a lot of things, I can’t exactly remember everything,” Eli responded as she drained the last drops of juice. “I think I’ll make a move, I have lots of things to pack.”

_ Apparently Nozomi was not lucky all the time. _

 As Eli scuttled around the apartment to gather her things, Nozomi cleared the table, biting her lip to restrain herself from showing any emotion in front of Eli. Not long after, Eli emerged from the bedroom clutching her bag and overcoat, and hurried towards the front door. 

 “Bye, Nozomi.”

 Just as Eli was about to reach for the doorknob, she turned around and walked towards Nozomi.

 “See you in a few days’ time.” Eli gently kissed Nozomi on the forehead before heading for the door again.

_ “So she’s still leaving anyway.” _

* * *

 It was 2am, the night before Eli’s departure, and Eli lay in her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

_ “Finally, the time has come, huh?” _ Eli mused for what seemed like the 5th time in the two and a half hours spent trying to fall asleep.

 Indeed, once she reached Russia, she could finally see her family members, finally stay in their spacious old house, finally start putting her law education to good use in her dad’s company, and finally start matchmaking sessions with Alexander. Eli had a promising future in Russia, and she knew that many of her peers could only dream of such prospects.

 And yet, Eli knew that deep down inside, she did not want to go back. She definitely did not forget that night with Nozomi, when she declared outright that she wanted to stay, tears and snot and all dripping down her face.

 Choosing not to go back was easy. No one was stopping her - she was flying back herself, and she was holding on to the plane ticket - all she had to do was cancel the ticket and stay put. And yet, staying put in Japan was more difficult than it seemed. Where was she going to stay? Could she still apply for the bar exam and prepare for it in time? What about her family - how was she going to tell them she wanted to cast aside everything prepared for her in Russia because she wanted to stay in Japan  _ to be with her sex shop worker girlfriend _ ?

 The more Eli mulled about that, the more she felt awake, and she fumbled for her phone to check the time.

 2.23 am. Eli groaned and pulled her pillow over her head.

* * *

 “Hurry, I think the cab is here!” Eli called to Nozomi as she helped her load the remaining luggage out of the room.

 “Okay, I’m done,” Nozomi straightened the luggages before dusting her hands.

 “Have a safe trip, Eli! I’ll miss you dearly,” Umi went to the front door to bade Eli farewell.

 “I’ll miss you too, take care of yourself,” Eli hugged Umi briefly, then turned around to help Nozomi lug her suitcases to the ground level.

 The taxi driver helped the girls stuff the luggages in the boot, and in no time, Nozomi and Eli found themselves in the back seat, ready to set off.

 “Narita Airport Terminal 3, please,” Eli instructed the driver, and they promptly left the campus grounds.

* * *

 As music played from the taxi’s radio, Nozomi and Eli stared out of the window, watching the traffic zip by on the highway.

 Then Nozomi turned to look at Eli - possibly one of her final glances in a very long while. Eli looked beautiful as always, especially from her side profile, which accentuated her sharp features, a distinctive trait of her mixed heritage.

 “Remember to stay warm, okay? I heard it’s very cold in Russia.” Nozomi whispered, just loud enough to be audible amidst the ambient music in the vehicle.

 Eli smiled and extended her hand to touch Nozomi’s. “Of course I know that.”

* * *

 After an hour long journey, they finally reached the airport. After paying the driver and unloading the luggage, the two girls headed to the departure hall, which was buzzing with activity.

_ “So...there’s no turning back for Elicchi anymore.” _ Nozomi sighed wistfully.

 “You want to follow me while I check in?” Eli asked Nozomi, who stood rooted to the ground near the entrance.

 “No, I think we’ll just part ways here, I’m afraid if I follow you in further, I would start bawling.” Nozomi let out a stifled giggle as her eyes started to water.

 “Well...okay. Farewell then, Nozomi.” Eli took Nozomi by the hand and gave them a reassuring pat.

 “Goodbye...Elicchi.”

 Eli turned around and headed towards the check-in counter while dragging her suitcases. Nozomi initially thought of standing there, watching Eli disappear into the departure gates until she could no longer see her figure, but Nozomi soon felt her lips trembling uncontrollably as she felt herself on the verge of tears.

 Nozomi could not take it anymore, and she turned around, walking towards the airport entrance, walking in the opposite direction from Eli.

_ “I guess...I’ll have to start living my life without you by my side.” _

* * *

 “Nozomi.” A voice calling her name stopped her in her tracks.

_ Was that Eli? Or was she hallucinating? _

 Nozomi spun around, and there stood Eli at the entrance, her suitcases next to her.

 “ **_Elicchi!_ ** ” At that moment, Nozomi cast aside all her concerns about embarrassing herself in public and flew into Eli’s arms, breaking into sobs.

 Eli tightened her arms around Nozomi as she nuzzled her head against Nozomi’s shoulder.

 “I...I thought...you were leaving?” Nozomi cried.

 “I decided not to in the end,” Eli replied calmly, rubbing Nozomi on the back as she continued sobbing. “I decided that I’d much rather stay in Japan with.”

 “B-but...what about the flight? And your future? Wh...what are you going to do now?” Nozomi asked, genuinely concerned.

 Eli blinked back tears as she too started feeling emotional from her sudden reunion with Nozomi. “Who cares about the flight...how much is thousands of yen as compared to being with you? As for the future...I have yet to think about it in detail, but it will all work out in the end, I’m sure.”

 Nozomi could not believe this was happening. Eli, who loathed uncertainty in her life and always sought to plan things out ahead; Eli, who always put the interests of her family and those she loved before hers; actually brought herself to make this bold and perhaps rash decision. For the sake of  _ her _ .

 “Don’t ever leave me again,” Nozomi whispered.

 “Of course I won’t.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is up! Thank you to all who have followed the story till the end and left me comments and kudos :) You can read a more detailed post about my thoughts here on my Tumblr.

 Two months had passed since Eli’s near departure from Japan. Eli had since moved in with Nozomi, and was concurrently preparing for her bar exams and working part time at the library, as she always had.

 “Elicchi, could you go over to the stove and watch the soup for a while?” Nozomi hollered as she walked out of the kitchen carrying a platter of raw meat in one hand and a yakiniku grill in another.

 “Sure thing!” Eli replied, shuffling towards the kitchen to make sure her pot of borcsht did not boil over.

 As Eli stirred the contents of the pot, she casually glanced at Nozomi, who was tottering around the dining table, and a sense of warmth filled her heart. Nozomi had always wanted to throw a moving in party for Eli, along with some of their friends, and they finally had the opportunity to.

 All was well now for Eli, and staying with Nozomi for the past two months, Eli felt a constant sense of peace and stability. In fact, it was almost impossible for Eli to imagine the tumultuous feelings of insecurity and uncertainty that plagued her two months ago.

* * *

 The evening after Eli made a detour from the airport, she made a call back to Russia while at Nozomi’s apartment. Over the phone, she told her entire family about everything, from her desire to remain in Japan to carve a career of her own to having a serious relationship with Nozomi.

 Of course, upon hearing the news, her parents, especially her father, had not been very pleased. “Why did you tell us so late”, they had demanded. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into”, they’d questioned. Fortunately for Eli, Alisa was especially mature and understanding, and had attempted to assuage her parents on the spot.

 “Onee-chan has been an obedient and responsible girl since young, and always had the interests of our family at heart. Since this concerns her own future, shouldn’t she know what’s best for her?”

Eli was touched and relieved that her younger sister managed to understand her sentiments, and had so readily stood by her side.

 Eli’s family did support her decision, eventually. After informing her grandmother, who then contacted Alexander’s family, they discussed the issue over the course of a few days before getting back to Eli. Her father had still been upset about Eli’s sudden notice, but other than that, they respected her decision to remain in Japan.

 “We wish you all the best, Eli,” her father had told her. “But please don’t forget us, do pay us a visit whenever you have the time to.”

* * *

 The gurgling sound of the bubbles in the pot jolted Eli from her deep thoughts and she immediately remembered she was supposed to watch the borcsht. Quickly, she turned the gas off and wiped her hands before joining Nozomi in the living room.

 “Our guests should be arriving any moment.” Nozomi took a quick look at the wall clock. “Is everything ready?”

 “Mm!” Eli nodded. “All that’s left is to wait for the borscht to cool down before I bring the pot out.”

 Just then, the doorbell sounded. Eli hurried towards the door to welcome their first guests.

 “Hi Eli-senpai!” Rin and Hanayo greeted Eli with much zest.

 “Hello, come in!” Eli held the door open as the two girls slipped off their shoes and made their way in, saying hi to Nozomi as she passed by.

 “Aren’t there supposed to be three of you? Why is it that only two of you showed up?” Nozomi asked after noticing Maki was not with them, despite being invited as well.

 “Oh, Maki-chan said she’s busy this afternoon,” Rin replied, a tinge of regret in her voice. “She has an appointment with someone apparently, so she said she couldn’t make it.”

 “Someone?” Eli was curious.

 “We suspect Maki’s dating someone,” Hanayo giggled. “She’s been in a exceptionally good mood lately, and she’s always grinning at her handphone.” Hanayo and Rin proceeded to shoot cheeky glances at each other as they set the pot of rice on the dining table (lovingly prepared by Hanayo).

 Not long after, the doorbell rang again. This time, Umi, Honoka and Kotori arrived.

 “Sorry for being late,” Umi said apologetically. “Honoka couldn’t find her way, as usual.”

 “It’s alright,” Eli smiled, “We’ve only just started.”

 Honoka flashed a sheepish grin. “I brought some freshly made manju though!”

 “Umi-chan and I also bought some macarons for all of us,” Kotori added.

 In no time, the guests made themselves comfortable and started chatting.

 “That just leaves us with Nico-san, right?” Eli turned to Nozomi.

 “Yep, she told me earlier that she would be a bit late. She’s bringing her girlfriend along, though.”

 “Oh, really?”

 Nozomi nodded. “I’ve never actually seen her girlfriend before, but Nicocchi says she’s quite cute, so I’m kinda excited to meet her.”

 Eli’s and Nozomi’s conversation was then interrupted by the doorbell.

 “Speak of the devil,” Nozomi chuckled as she walked to the door, “She’s finally here.”

 “Hey, Nozomi!” Nico greeted after Nozomi opened the door. “Hope you all didn’t wait too long for us. Let me introduce you to my girlfriend-”

 “Ahhhhhh!” Rin and Hanayo suddenly ceased all conversation and jumped up from the sofa. “ **_It’s Maki-chan!_ ** ”

* * *

 The nine girls finally seated themselves around the dining table, preparing to tuck in. Maki, however, was still blushing furiously from the unprecedented shock of meeting everyone, especially Rin and Hanayo, at Nozomi and Eli’s house party.

 “So you  _ are _ dating someone after all!” Rin exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

 “How did you not know that your girlfriend was bringing you to Eli-senpai’s party though?” Hanayo inquired.

 “N-Nico-chan just said we were going to her colleague’s house,” Maki rambled. “And how was I supposed to know that her colleague’s girlfriend is Eli-senpai?!”

 “Nico- **_chan_ ** ~” Rin teased, placing emphasis on “chan”. “This is the first time I heard Maki-chan refer to someone that way, how cute!”

 “Quit it already, Rin!” Maki became even more embarrassed.

 Eli took notice of her juniors’ banter as she dished out the borscht and could not help but laugh along as well.

 “These kids really bring life to the party, don’t they?” Nozomi quipped - obviously, she had been observing Eli observe them. This did not surprise Eli one bit - by now, she knew that Nozomi had been constantly looking out for her, almost like a guardian angel.

 “Mm,” Eli smiled back at Nozomi, and they went back to their seats after seeing that all their guests have had their portion of food distributed to them.

 Just as Eli sat back down, she felt her phone buzz.

 It was a message from Alexander.

**_“Hello, Eli,”_ ** it read,  **_“It’s been a little over 2 months since we’ve last spoken to each other, and the first time I’m actually messaging you since Grandma Ayase told me that you didn’t wish to get engaged with me, but instead remain in Japan. I was shocked and confused at first, for I was looking forward to being with you again, and suddenly you said you weren’t coming back to Russia. But you know, I could sense you weren’t happy with the original arrangement, and in the end I was glad you made the choice that suited you best._ **

**_“You don’t need to feel obliged to continue keeping in touch with me, especially after knowing that I’ve brought you nothing but sadness and worry by suddenly appearing in your life 12 years after we’ve last met. However, I’d like to know at the very least if you’re happy where you are right now, so that I can have peace of mind. Thank you and wishing you all the best in your future. - Alexander”_ **

 Eli read the message slowly and carefully, taking in every single word he had written. She then looked up from her phone. Right now, her friends were bantering and enjoying their home-cooked fare in the apartment she and Nozomi shared, a cosy apartment that was not too far from the central business district, where she would practise law in the future after passing her bar exam. But most importantly, she was seated next to the love of her life, a mysterious but caring adult shop worker, Tojou Nozomi, who was by her side everyday.

 Being conscious of all this, Eli smiled, lifting her fingers to her phone to tap out a response. 

**_“Yes, I am happy.”_ **


End file.
